Her | Gemini | Poetry is my Love Language | Craving Happiness...

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  • d33_with_f33lings 9w


    What exactly was love to you?
    I used to look into your eyes and see heaven.
    You would laugh and my heart would flutter.
    It is so scary and sad to think back now and realize that every single little and big things that transpired between us that made me feel good and special was just simply meaningless to you.
    So, I ask again what exactly is love to you?

  • d33_with_f33lings 18w


    NOTE 39


    I used to hate celebrating my birthdays, now I don't but I do rather prefer not to celebrate it. I rather reminisce on my life on the last few days leading to my birthday. I find this as a much more comforting and an easier way to connect to myself both spiritually and emotionally.

    Being 25, living in Nigeria, unmarried, unemployed and not in any potential relationship could look like hell and a dead sentence when you are stuck in a culture that sees your situation especially if you are a woman as a shame and most possibly and certainly a crime.

    Right now, I feel hopeless and out of place. I feel like I try so hard but nothing ever works in my favor lately. Sometimes, it seems so difficult to see those with whom I began this journey of life with and some I even began this journey of life before excelling and figuring it all out while I am just stuck in one position.

    At 25, I am not a entirely dwelling on sadness but I would be lying if I didn't say it is all I see most times. It is still there but I am learning to pick happiness always no matter if it only comes in small quantities. I am beginning to speak up more on things I really desire and says a lot less on matters that don't bring me peace. I will keep fighting.
    Unni! Fighting!! & Happy Birthday!!!

  • d33_with_f33lings 19w


    Seeing my phone buzzing and lighting up with name on it now that I am finally moving on, being happy and showing that happiness in public makes me so angry.
    Like what are you trying to do or gain from this?
    Why now?
    Why now that you can see me genuinely happy are you reaching out?
    You went weeks without reaching out so why not stick to that?

  • d33_with_f33lings 19w


    I know what you are going to say but I am doing so well. I just saw him now and that makes me so happy. I know you don't approve but please reserve your comments because he is the only thing making me happy right now. He is the only thing making me to cling onto life now.

  • d33_with_f33lings 19w


    I don't ever get over shit. I just accept them for what they are and move on.

  • d33_with_f33lings 19w


    We don't get to understand how precious some moments are until they become memories.

  • d33_with_f33lings 19w


    I hate you for crossing paths with me.
    I hate you for saying you like me.
    I hate you for saying you think this could be love.
    I hate you for making me fall for you.
    I hate you more for disappearing on me.
    I hate you for constantly disappointing me.
    I hate you even more for leaving me in a confused mess.

  • d33_with_f33lings 19w


    You don't get to understand what you put me through today by ignoring me. I felt like I lost the only thing putting a smile on my face lately.

  • d33_with_f33lings 19w


    Why come into my life just to provoke, invoke and ignite all this feelings that I don't understand and have no control over. Only to step all over me, leaving me confused and forever wandering what happened to us.

  • d33_with_f33lings 19w


    Why do I always have to end up torturing myself. I always live with regret and never in the moment.