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  • conflicted_ 5d

    #Insomnia #Insomniac
    Clenching my teeth, I tighten my grip on blankets, Eyes buried deep down sockets, not deep enough, slam a piece of wood against my head and it feels I could take with no flinch, tears roll out of helplessness blurring the already dark room...
    The corner of my bed looks so adept for my head to slam against, hallucinating the bloody outcome and the carcass of my sleeping cousin on the other side of the room I refrain from making any other sheets red..
    It is not that I am not tired , so tired that I wanted to throw off my carcass off by the evening. Looking forward for that hallucinations before sleep where I tread between reality and a dream...
    I watch my sanity tested like a string for it's elasticity...
    The street lights pierce my room and my head ,splitting my head in between. Did I imagine that!?
    I don't know if felt that was better...
    Would it? I struggled trying to keep myself sane from all the thoughts that felt right at the moment..
    Hardest to fall asleep?
    Is This a curse?
    is someone thinking or dreaming about me? Was this the price for waking up!?

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    Clenching my teeth, I tighten my grip on blankets, Eyes buried deep down sockets, not deep enough, slam a piece of wood against my head and it feels I could take with no flinch, tears roll out of helplessness blurring the already dark room...
    The corner of my bed looks so adept for my head to slam against, hallucinating the bloody outcome and watching the carcass of my sleeping brother on the other side of the room I refrain from making any other sheets red..
    ©conflicted_

  • conflicted_ 24w

    Have you ever in a day tried to see your actions from any other perspective other than "thou higher and acta for greater good" perspective? The lies you say yourself to cover your cold, care free and ruthless behaviour.
    #hate #Scorpio #vent #rant #hurt #pain #vain #angry
    #monster

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    You did not yield a sword,
    you hold a pen,
    a pen covered in the crimson
    of all the people you hurt in the past,
    you write in black,
    you hurt yourself,
    you cut and pierce yourself
    and write with all the sludge
    that your inners transformed
    for everything's that done
    and you're doing.
    You are no warrior,
    you're just like every other
    knight you hated and turned into,
    due course of choices not events.
    You turned into the ugly monsters you
    hated and hunted once,
    hiding behind silver,
    above the fortress of memories,
    debris of the dead,
    Bled out and wept,
    with every choice that
    you didn't or thought
    was adept.
    ©conflicted_

  • conflicted_ 25w

    Just a memory...

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    And you'll run ,
    after her as she
    walks away towards the sunset,
    Keep running behind her
    until you run out of
    your breath,
    Shout, yell, cry,
    asking her to wait,
    She couldn't hear you
    through the window of pain,
    Keep running until she looks back,
    Watch your fate make you tumble,
    Missing the moment her eyes met yours,
    As you realize,
    she looked back,
    Watch her silhouette disappear in the sunset...
    ©conflicted_

  • conflicted_ 25w

    Bleh.

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    Remember,
    everything might not ,
    happen for a reason,
    Maybe a choice or a mistake,
    A lesson or a solution,
    The wise learns,
    The fool dwells,
    Existence or remembrance,
    Your body in this mortal plane,
    mind creeping under the shallows ,
    Your soul hovering amongst celestials ,
    A mere tear drop in an ocean,
    Unclear!
    Divided , segregated , conjunction.
    ©conflicted_

  • conflicted_ 26w

    To deceive yourself is life's greatest illusion

  • conflicted_ 31w

    //Live a Little//
    Live a little like there is nothing more,
    We never know when we would say our last hi or byes ,
    Knowing this uncertainty of life ,
    Would you still be holding yourself back in this little ride?
    Want to eat those momos ,wish I could grab them along you,
    She came along when I wasn't looking keen,
    She loved me and taught me how to,
    Loving and living alongside her,
    I wish I could,
    For a little more,
    Even if those little be days or hours,
    I want to live a little more,
    Yes, I want to feel a little and live a little,
    The most happiest and alive ,I never knew I was still alive, her voice, her giggles, her touch, her smile, only if I could get to see,
    Only if I could get to feel them again,
    Live a little alive.

    #live #life #love #laugh #alive
    #hope #wither #escape #dark

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    //Live a Little//
    Live a little like there is no tomorrow,
    We never know when we would say our last hi or byes
    Knowing this uncertainty of life ,
    Would you still be holding yourself back in this little ride???
    ©conflicted_

  • conflicted_ 32w

    Everyday,
    It feels like I'm walking on a tight rope,
    I can't see but
    I can feel the tension that lies in my hope,
    My mother, I keep her safest above my arms,on my wings..
    My allies on my shoulders and
    My lover lies like a crown on my horns,
    while I walk this test,is this a
    Walk of shame or a leap of faith?
    Two little demons called guilt and regret whisper in my ears, to look back,
    I can't look back cause I know if I turn back I'd fall down and if I fall,
    would it be like a pack of cards or dominoes,
    Either ways my wings weigh,
    And I can't see ahead cause it's uncertain,
    It feels like there's more than gravity,
    That's certain,
    pulling me down,
    all the people who I once looked up to or looked for,
    I can't look back, no way,
    Neither could I see or know what's ahead,
    'Close my eyes, o lover,
    Make me walk above the clouds,
    Make me reach the stars above,
    take me higher,
    Hold my wings, o mother,
    I'll keep you safe till the last of my breath...'
    ©conflicted_
    .
    .
    Incomplete piece.
    Let's see if I could complete this later or if anyone of you could, that'd be great.
    #vent #rant #demons #walk #mother #wings #fall #hope #guilt #regret #uncertainty #shame

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    Everyday,
    It feels like I'm walking on a tight rope,
    I can't see but
    I can feel the tension that lies in my hope,
    My mother, I keep her safest above my arms,on my wings..
    My allies on my shoulders and
    My lover lies like a crown on my horns,
    while I walk this test,is this a
    Walk of shame or a leap of faith?
    Continued in the caption.
    ©conflicted_

  • conflicted_ 33w

    Just why?

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    Why is it that in every stage of my life,
    I turn into the person I hated earlier?
    ©conflicted_

  • conflicted_ 40w

    How does it feel when you water a plant and yet it remains withered?
    Little shades of green you call progress,
    The hope of a blooming bud makes you want to continue this circle that takes a toll on both the plant and the gardener,
    You know it is not the plant's fault nor the gardener, Adverse conditions? Maybe?
    But you do remember the time when there was no sun and it was either cloudy or rain?
    How did the plant manage to bloom and give everyone hope? How did the plant with no sun bloomed while the same under all the best conditions , only tend to wither?
    I don't know how longer I'd be hopeful in watering you,
    I don't know how longer you could take all the strength from your roots and still stand , withered but still signs of blooming , awaiting for the rays of hope,
    I hope you Endure a
    little more, I hope you
    Survive...
    ©conflicted_
    .
    .
    How did it get so late so soon?...
    . Quick Vent! Correct me if any mistakes felt or found!
    Pic credit : Pinterest/rightful owner
    #vent #gloom #tired #pain #survive #bloom #endure
    #hope #wither #escape #dark

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    How does it feel
    when you water a plant
    and yet it remains withered?
    Little shades of green
    you call progress,
    The hope of a blooming bud
    makes you want to continue
    this circle that takes a toll
    on both the plant and
    the gardener...
    ©conflicted_
    Continued in the caption...

  • conflicted_ 42w

    I live in a shell,
    A good shell, which very much can give and gave, the strength and power require to deal with hardship of this life
    But what is a shell when the soul fears it's very own insecurities of past lives?
    Look in the mirror you don't have a broken shell, it's your image of yourself beneath the shell which you feel broken and to fix that,
    you break your shell,Your coping habits;
    You put this shell to more pain than it's supposed to endure...
    Deep down, unknowingly ;
    You become your biggest enemy,
    You become your very own parasite,
    And this shell which serves as host between you and this world would eventually wither...
    In time you'd understand and be thankful for your shell,
    In time you'd stop hurting your shell,
    In time you'd feel no fear,
    In time you'd feel nothing.
    .
    #Ghostinashell
    #shell #ghost #soul #enemy #habits #fear #feels #parasite #host

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    But what is a shell
    when the soul fears
    it's very own insecurities
    of past lives?
    ©conflicted_