#Insomnia#Insomniac Clenching my teeth, I tighten my grip on blankets, Eyes buried deep down sockets, not deep enough, slam a piece of wood against my head and it feels I could take with no flinch, tears roll out of helplessness blurring the already dark room... The corner of my bed looks so adept for my head to slam against, hallucinating the bloody outcome and the carcass of my sleeping cousin on the other side of the room I refrain from making any other sheets red.. It is not that I am not tired , so tired that I wanted to throw off my carcass off by the evening. Looking forward for that hallucinations before sleep where I tread between reality and a dream... I watch my sanity tested like a string for it's elasticity... The street lights pierce my room and my head ,splitting my head in between. Did I imagine that!? I don't know if felt that was better... Would it? I struggled trying to keep myself sane from all the thoughts that felt right at the moment.. Hardest to fall asleep? Is This a curse? is someone thinking or dreaming about me? Was this the price for waking up!?
Have you ever in a day tried to see your actions from any other perspective other than "thou higher and acta for greater good" perspective? The lies you say yourself to cover your cold, care free and ruthless behaviour. #hate#Scorpio#vent#rant#hurt#pain#vain#angry #monster
//Live a Little// Live a little like there is nothing more, We never know when we would say our last hi or byes , Knowing this uncertainty of life , Would you still be holding yourself back in this little ride? Want to eat those momos ,wish I could grab them along you, She came along when I wasn't looking keen, She loved me and taught me how to, Loving and living alongside her, I wish I could, For a little more, Even if those little be days or hours, I want to live a little more, Yes, I want to feel a little and live a little, The most happiest and alive ,I never knew I was still alive, her voice, her giggles, her touch, her smile, only if I could get to see, Only if I could get to feel them again, Live a little alive.
I live in a shell, A good shell, which very much can give and gave, the strength and power require to deal with hardship of this life But what is a shell when the soul fears it's very own insecurities of past lives? Look in the mirror you don't have a broken shell, it's your image of yourself beneath the shell which you feel broken and to fix that, you break your shell,Your coping habits; You put this shell to more pain than it's supposed to endure... Deep down, unknowingly ; You become your biggest enemy, You become your very own parasite, And this shell which serves as host between you and this world would eventually wither... In time you'd understand and be thankful for your shell, In time you'd stop hurting your shell, In time you'd feel no fear, In time you'd feel nothing. . #Ghostinashell #shell#ghost#soul#enemy#habits#fear#feels#parasite#host
// " Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” – Rumi //
Love is the armour life hides behind When it loses its Will to stay a prisoner To the mind any longer. Love is when life Walks down the hill Of reason into the valley safeguarded by the heart And it feels like it Is falling , failing , falling When it is actually rising. Love is when you don't know what is happening within you But don't want it to stop regardless. Love is when you expand into Another body Another mind Another heart until Your self ceases to Be bound by any boundary . Love is when you Sit by yourself under Your shower and sew Back your wounds Until it stops to bleed Into your self. Love is when you look into the eyes of The world that has wronged You over and over and over and you stare right into it As though saying You know what, I'm here to stay. Love is when you cross the street holding the hand of your daughter letting Her believe that she is the one Leading the way. Love is when you Ask your son to Stay as tender as He is courageous And letting him trust that Sensitivity is gender neutral. Love is being Pushed by life And falling down hard And scraping your knees And having the urge to Burn burn burn but Sitting by the fireplace rubbing balm onto your Eighty year old mother's Knees instead. Love is allowing Your heart to be torn to Shreds by the pain of another life and having the strength to see that empathy is all there is. Love is standing at Your mother's mother's Funeral and seeing your mother Become your daughter Out of despair , out of grief Out of need. Love is coming up For air when the world Sinks and trying to lend A helping hand to the child who is still underwater. Love is feeling Numb like the light inside Your heart has lost its address And having the will to Look for it in wounded Places of your own numb self. Love is not knowing, Not knowing The meaning of life of yourself or Of love even but accepting that In it lay the groundwork For your childlike innocence To stay in awe of the stars That make your body.
Love is when you walk Beside your life Even when you are worn out and tired And gently clasp her hand and Ever so softly whisper into Her ears " Let's fall In love again"