While she was walking through the pristine skies To lay beside the vivid hues, to fondle the glorious Rainbow of forfeited faith and forgotten fervor, Wondering if life was as serene as the soothing Sound of relieving rain or as frightened As the vociferous voice of violent thunderstorm
They pulled her back to the gray clouds of despair To keep her away from shades of satisfaction, to dim Innocent eyes from glimpsing serenity and truce They murdered her delightful dream with their Dominant hands made of wrath and loathe Shadowed her vibrant vision, gifted her misery
While she was climbing the mysterious mountain To hike along with the fleeting nature of time, to behold Beyond the zenith searching for salvation from The truth, wondering if peace comes within Or is it isolated somewhere in the nook of The universe scared of humans to come out?
They dragged her down to the restricted surface To seize her freedom of self-sufficiency, to resist From hearing her inner voice of deliverance They swallowed her longing desire to explore With their hungry mouth and everlasting thirst Devoured her dignity, vomited her virtue
While she was sauntering through the naked woods To smell the flowery scent of the verdant forest, to Breathe the fresh air along with oak trees, Pine leaves wondering if the wonderful waterfall Cries in discomfort when it falls or is it strong Enough to acknowledge its meaning of existence
They kicked her towards the center of the depression From where coming back is difficult, to steal Her innermost strength, to destroy her excitement To live, just like a hungry vampire sucking The fresh blood, they hunted her gifted mind With their bitter words and never-ending torture
I began bleeding, at 7:00 in the morning. The red leak of existence didn't let me sleep. I got up, I had to.
I washed down the blood. As I did, I thought if men ever lost blood as much as women in their lifespan. I thought if they could feel the hurt. I thought of the times when it feels as if we are being stabbed over and over again, but we still have to roam around pretending it's all fine. And still be called weak.
I could feel the knots in my stomach. But I was so used to it, wasn't I? As I clutched my belly, I thought of the times when mamma would be so soaked in pain, yet she would be working in the kitchen to feed us. I thought if men could understand that pain.
I wrapped my hands around myself. Atleast I wasn't banished. I thought of the times when a woman would bear all that pain so that one day she would give birth to a man who would grow to tag those 5 days as a shame. How she had to do all those stupid things for those 5 days. I thought if people would ever understand how serene a thing they preached as disgraceful.
It ached. All of it. I felt like I was being stabbed right through. Again and again. And then I thought of the ache it must cause when a child is given birth. How beautiful and painful at the same time. I thought of the men who could understand that beauty, and thanked them. I thought how could people have the cheek to call something associated with so magnificent a thing as a sin.
I just wanted to sit and do nothing. I couldn't bear to stand. I thought of the times when I would have to pretend in front of boys that I was fine, even when I was not. I thought why do girls have to hesitate. I thought why couldn't they just say it.. "I am on my periods. And it hurts. " I did it once. And it was all okay.
I just lay there. On that bed. Trying not to cry. Trying to focus on beautiful things to overshadow the soreness in my belly. I thought of all those times when periods were not talked about. All the times when the shopkeeper would try hiding the sanitary napkins as if it were gold.
And then, I thought, if those times would change at all. ______________
This post is not meant as a disrespect to anyone. I know there are a lot of boys and men who do try to understand. I have just written it on a general basis, and some of it also refers to the past, not the present.