bluemushroom

www.wattpad.com/user/bluemushroom_rc

a scribbler that often wanders on the fantasy realm.

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  • bluemushroom 7w

    This is what I Fear...

    This is what I fear.

    Life, like I wont be able to uphold it.

    Life, like I might lose it very soon.

    Life, like my existence was just a mistake and not it was already taking its toll for the borrowed moments.

    Life, like would I be a burden to those who knew me or would I just be forgotten like one of the passing acquintances.

    I want to improve my health and well-being but the traitor called depression is now weighing me down.

    I’m affraid, I want tot be able to overcome this obstacle.

    This is one fo my fear. To be consumed by the negativity I accumulated. To not be able to come back.

    This is waht I fear. To be judged and ridiculed.

    To be compared and to be a failure. I, who masked an inocent facade was now covered in mud and dirt. A well behaved lady turned to a monster. A biting tigress but fangs have already been removed. A nobody.

    This is what I fear.

    To not be able to perfom well and to be stuck on the mistake I made.

    This is what I fear, to no longer trust the future because of my misjudgment.

    I fear that I wont be able to prove anything.

    I fear that I will get stuck.

    I fear that I would get blamed,

    I fear to become nothing.

    This is what I fear.

    Life, to end before I could even come back.

    Fail, even before I even started.

    Judged, for my past mistakes.

    Retribution, for my guilt.

    To be rejected, forgotten and disregarded.

    I fear to be left alone.

    And I fear to not be able to come back.

  • bluemushroom 10w

    The day her ship sank,
    everything was in turmoil.
    Tears flow endlessly.
    Now, hoping for an overhaul.
    A restart where tears will still stream,
    but beautifully from overjoy
    and no longer from grief.

  • bluemushroom 12w

    As if my decision to renew my life was not enough.
    Everything fall into chaos.
    I was this eager to start anew,
    with plans in mind and the first step was already in motion.
    My lifetime worth of memories vanished,
    my works were gone into smoke.
    Nothing was left.
    I'm now left blank,
    a nobody,
    alone,
    an existence of some sort,
    or am I still amenable to exist?

    Read More

    Reset

  • bluemushroom 14w

    It suddenly hit me,
    the body felt your disinterest in life.
    Like, what could be even push you to keep living,
    where death is easier.

  • bluemushroom 15w

    Tell me how to save a life that's slowly fading
    little by little consumed by guilt of his past
    step by step withering
    unable to absorb any love you poured,
    unable to digest what you fed.
    Tell me how to change his position,
    his point of view that was already tainted,
    his sanity that was vanishing.
    He was left,
    He was abandoned,
    crawling his way
    but it doesn't end there.
    He was trampled before he could even breathe,
    now tell me how to convince him,
    tell him to move forward.
    He was already blinded by lies,
    the deafening realities was just a shadow.
    He no longer cares.

  • bluemushroom 15w

    Don't be afraid with the UNKNOWN
    Get excited with the UNFAMILIAR

  • bluemushroom 16w

    I'm tired.
    I'm bored.
    Trapped on this chaotic and absurdities of life.

  • bluemushroom 17w

    Funny how I wished I was again in that same page.
    That moment when I was happy yet I'm broken,
    Then suddenly reality jolted in.
    It made me questioned why?
    Why would I allow myself to taste that bitterness,
    Drown on endless uncertainties,
    Stuck on this bottomless pit.
    Funny how I wished we are still together,
    How could I let myself be again entangled with your chaos?
    Laugh.
    That is all I can do watching me fooled again.
    Laugh.
    As my miseries were already pour down.
    Along with the welling negativities.
    Lucky.
    In just a matter of seconds reality took over.
    It keeps on telling me,
    Never dwell for less,
    Never get trap on that mistakes.
    Because no matter what happen,
    Never forget your ability to Laugh.
    Laugh to your hearts content.
    That way, you'll no longer wish to beg,
    You will no longer miss that pointless illusions.

    #laugh #wod #miraquill

    Read More

    - Laugh

  • bluemushroom 18w

    Get hold of that hunger that will lead you where you want to be

  • bluemushroom 19w

    Indeed, what you see in me
    was just a reflection of how you treat me.