blank_thoughts_

My thoughts my words

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  • blank_thoughts_ 44w

    Found every single piece from beneath the deepest river and the highest mountain.
    You held my hand tight and promised
    to never let go.
    Kissed my cheak and gave me a warm hug.
    The warmest hug I could ever feel,
    and we walked home really slow.
    When you said that you loved me,
    I said that too,
    but the difference was that I was in love with you.

  • blank_thoughts_ 44w

    In Love With You

    .
    I wanna feel your skin.
    Your pink lips, pinker than any lipstick .
    I wanna hold your hand and be with you till eternity.
    I wanna kiss your lips,
    feel your warm breath on my face.
    I wanna feel your heart race.
    I can't get over your pretty face.
    You found me,
    when others didn't even know that I was lost.
    I hated when he called you an ugly mess
    and you felt any less.

  • blank_thoughts_ 48w

    A Disappointment

    "You are a disappointment. "He said.
    "We must have done something bad in the previous life to deserve a daughter like her "She replied.
    I know at this point I should have cried,
    but my tears felt very private to be showcased.

    Everything went into my ears,
    but I heard nothing.
    I acted very tough,
    didn't even say a word.

    I grabbed a towel and a kitchen knife,
    slowly moved towards the bathroom,
    sat on the floor which was light blue but looked white.
    They thought that it was normal for their child to bathe at 11 pm on a cold chilly night.

    I turned on the shower and thought about
    how I could stop hurting.
    The knife was the solution
    as I was observing.

    I turned off the shower and dipped my feet inside the tub.
    I thought that it would be easy to cut,
    if my skin would turn soft and numb.

    I swiped the knife across my knee.
    The cut didn't help me in reducing the pain,
    so I gave it another try.
    The second time a few drops dripped but
    it didn't stop hurting inside,
    not even a little bit.

    The knife wasn't sharp enough or
    maybe my skin was too tough.
    The hands that held the weight of my body when I did a handstand,
    weren't strong enough
    to cut a few layers of my skin.

    I cleansed my body ,
    and imagined my death.
    I imagined wiping the water off of my body,
    wrapping a towel around my head.

    I imagined wearing my clothes so that
    I wouldn't be found naked ,
    lying on the floor,
    death.

    I sliced open my wrist and slowly closed my eyes.
    I came out of my imagination.
    Wore my clothes,
    not the fresh clothes,
    but the clothes I had already worn.

    As I pulled my jeans up,
    I could feel a burn on my knee.
    The best thing was nobody could see.

    I hid the knife inside my shirt,
    wore all of my clothes that were coved in dirt,
    went outside like any other normal day,
    just that this time I had nothing left to say.

    I had to hide the knife.
    I thought my parents would get scared.
    Not of losing me but
    of the things the world would say.

    I kept the knife where it belonged and
    put a normal face on.

    She came to me and said sorry.
    I was expected to accept her apology,
    and say that I didn't care anyways,
    but I just sat there thinking about how life was unfair.

    -Aditi
    ┬ęblank_thoughts_

  • blank_thoughts_ 48w

    Some important things from my past were something I wanted to take away,
    but the path that led to my
    present was very narrow,
    I didn't have enough empty space.

    -Aditi

  • blank_thoughts_ 51w

    Voices In My Head

    Locked up my emotions,
    Threw the keys Into the ocean.
    The keys are in the depths,
    Those feelings are with me.
    Locked up inside
    But I still hear their scream.

    I wish this was all a bad dream.
    Sometimes I hear them whispering in my ear.
    I will listen to those voices
    Is something I always fear.
    The noises are more than I can endure.
    The thoughts are more than I can bear Sometimes I stare at myself and say,
    'I didn't ask for this.'
    I don't remember the last time
    I gave a smile of bliss.

    Those voices want to say something
    But I don't want to hear.
    I just wish I could Disappear.
    But I am not sure
    If the whispers would fade,
    The screams would be gone,
    Just like the moon after dawn.

    -Aditi

  • blank_thoughts_ 53w

    Unloved

    My heart sank into a hole,
    I had some value that they stole.
    I wasn't loved anymore,
    I was just like furniture
    Standing on the floor.
    They closed each door,
    Assuming I had nothing
    To ask for.

    I just wanted people to want me,
    Loved is what I wanted to be.
    Maybe it was something
    Nobody could see.


    -ADITI

  • blank_thoughts_ 54w

    You Can't


    .


    My skin is not jeans,
    You can't rip it .
    My breath is not your money,
    You can't take it.
    My hair is not a rope,
    You can't pull it.
    My body is not a toy,
    You can't play with it.
    My scream isn't advertisement,
    You can't ignore it.
    You don't own me
    Just like i don't own you.
    Don't make me hate men.
    I know they're not all the same
    But what am I going to
    Do with that when I'll just be
    Ashes left after those flames.

    -Aditi

  • blank_thoughts_ 54w

    Endless Road

    .
    My feet are sore,
    My clothes are torn,
    My face is freezing cold.
    I have been walking for hours,
    Have been talking to those lifeless flowers.
    Staring at those brown leaves,
    Watching the birds grieve.
    I have been inhaling the dry air
    But I know this is something I can bare .
    I know this road will end.
    I need not lose hope,
    I have the power to cope.
    I might be alone
    But I can do this on my own.

    -ADITI

  • blank_thoughts_ 55w

    Nothing Like You


    I am not like you.
    I never wanted to be.
    I was never good enough
    In your eyes,
    Was never suffice.
    Wasn't what you wanted me to be.
    Maybe the Apple fell
    Far from the tree.
    I don't want your advice.
    I'm not a perfect person but
    I know I am good at
    What I am doing.
    If you actually cared about me
    You would support me
    No matter What
    I would be pursuing.

    -ADITI

  • blank_thoughts_ 55w

    I Am A Girl


    Why do you have more?
    You don't have a pair of extra eyes,
    Neither are you legs four.
    Why do you still have more?

    I am as strong as you are,
    As confident as one can be.
    No one called me weak
    But the way I am treated
    It's not something I can't see.

    I am not a fragile flower.
    I deserve equal power.
    I am not safe alone,
    At night I need not leave my home
    Is what you believe.
    Oh yes, I am a girl!
    I am not capable of living on my own.

    -ADITI