This wasn't at all unexpected; the falling of the leaves in the autumn, falling of a meteor in the horizon leaving traces of beauty in our eyes for a while, the falling of cherry blossoms in spring, the Californian sunset, a nebula explosion.
Beautiful things don't last forever, it endures only for a while leaving an ever lasting impact on the soul, and a feeling of everglow.
God knows for how long I've loved you. But, your love, somehow shrunk in the gap between us, as if it was all meant to be. The gap grew wider and the darkness grew darker each day. Distance parted us, took you far away. Wished I could go back in time, to the fall we met; to fill out the gap with poetries and melodies of joy, with our love. The hole inside me is expanding each day.
We held hands, promised to explore the dark side of the moon. Now I'm standing here, speaking to the sky of the promise you never kept.
Since you are gone, the feeling of everglow is lost in the horizon. The nebula never exploded, neither did the cherry blossoms fall. The autumn never arrived. The meteor was never witnessed again. You are the story I shall never tell. You are the poem never written. You are the feeling I shall never feel again.
The sky tell me of you, that you are fine wherever you are. The moon radiates the feeling of everglow every night, to hide your absence. My heart shall continue looking for you every night, every tomorrow. The stars will speak to me of you every night when the quietness grows darker, that you are happy in your promised land.
"This lake reminds me of Veronica, her blue ocean eyes and the sparkle in them whenever she would sit by this lake. I feel her here more than anyone else."
It's the third autumn without her, the season when we initially met. I hope she's doing okay, wherever she is. The cracking of the dried up leaves still reminds me of her sound of footsteps. Time's going by really fast. Nothing's ever going to be the same as it was before ; the lake, that bench, the park. Autumn's almost here, an autumn without you. The melody of your voice still echoes deep below my heart, an unheard voice. I never knew you would leave me so soon. We were a story which was meant to be for ever, but I see us now as an unwritten poem stucked frozen in time. I miss the very melody you played in your violin the first time we met by the lake. I miss your presence. I hope heaven's being kind to you. I can't wait to have you by my side, again, in our next life. I love you, you left footprints on my heart for ever.
When the tenderness of the dark haunts you every night , you just look at the clock , count the hours to pass to survive. It's the horrific feeling you've got, when every night feels like the last. Everything around you gets unpredictable. Watching everyone depart from your life, makes it even worse knowing that you ain't got anybody for help. You cry every night begging for help but you won't let anyone know about your trauma.
You pull up a knife. A rip. A cut through your skin. You bleed. That's something which eases your pain. For a long time you haven't felt alive, but you do now. Seeing the blood oozing through your veins makes you feel happy, that you're still alive.
Every night feels like a catastrophe. You cry. You hurt yourself. You bleed. You are in pain. Everything is getting dizzy and blurry. But you are still holding on for dear life, hoping for everything to get better someday.
Silence. When you feel heartbreak, it feels like there's a hole inside your heart. While everyone's asleep, busy with their own chores and you..You sit there in silence trying to stop the tears flowing down from your eyes. Yet, it doesn't stops. You end up hurting yourself for that one person who left you. Your heart aches. Every night feels a like never ending nightmare. You spend it overthinking, your sleep disappears. Then, when the sun rises and everything around you feels normal, you get yourself busy but again the memories hit you making you feel pathetic. You feel their presence everywhere. No matter how hard you try.. you're unable to be alright. You tell others you're fine and moved on but deep down only you know you aren't. But slowly as the time passes, when you're able to control your feelings it does hurt but not like before. You realise that when you love someone it's better to let them go. You see them with their loved one and it doesn't hurt anymore. At the end, you end up feeling nothing. You fear love. Your tears are swallowed because you cried enough. Life goes on as it always does. And you, you also get used to with how it is. You know you still love them, but you can do nothing because everything has changed. So you try to hide it within yourself. You show them you hate them but deep down you're the only one who still love them the most. They couldn't hold onto your love. If they did, they would've been the luckiest. Moving on isn't easy. But once you know how to control your feelings it doesn't hurt anymore. ~P.