All those horrifying moments stir in my mind, Stealing away the littlest sleep that I'm left with, Leaving me wide awake at nights, Shifting positions to drive away the worst memory that had popped in, Often I wonder, do you see this, mom?
It's been 7 days without you, mom Everytime that I was in my senses, I spoke about you, Held your stuff and cried sometimes, I still feel that you're around me, I now realise how much you held us together.
Sometimes I don't even feel like crying, I'm sure it's not the numbness either, To be honest, I really don't know what it is.
There's so much of love I'm showered with, Not a single day passes when I don't receive calls from aunts and cousins, I don't know what's happening, I am just walking.
Dad cries alot, Remember how he used to cry recalling about his dead parents and brother? Even now he cries, For you, He misses you so much.
People say that I'm very strong,mom That I carry lot of patience inside, I don't know if that's true, I guess it's your prayers being answered, Where you prayed that God made me very bold and confident, Maybe it's that.
There are so many things to be done, mom I plan out everything, But the moment I think of starting it, I feel like I can't move, that I need rest, And then I sleep, For hours, It's a good escape, really.
Mom, I really don't know what's happening, I don't know what's gonna happen, I'm scared, Afraid to handle it all alone, You were always like a shield protecting me from everything, I'm scared to handle dad alone, To carry these broken pieces of life all together again.
I hope you prayed for this too, That God makes it easy for dad and I, I hope it gets answered soon.
You're at the best place, mom Far, far away from this temporary world, Done with your share of life, You are in your next journey, I hope you live peacefully, With never ending happiness.
I hope to meet you soon, In paradise, The thought itself makes me wide awake at nights.
It wasn't the end of certain friendships and relationships that made us strangers, But it was your immaturity, disrespect self obsession and my one sided tries that sinked it, Maybe I never meant anything to you, But my life is very peaceful without you, And there's not a single ounce of regret in me for not giving us another try, Cuz darling, you just don't deserve me
In the pitch dark room I try to sleep, The darkness resembling to the blackness of my beating heart, Filled with guilts, regrets and anger, A thin ray of street light makes it way into this dark world, Matching with the lightest intensity of light in my life, Both making feeble attempts to light up my ruinous world, My mind seem more like a tv, Shifting my imagination from one worst memory to another nightmare that has come true, Making my heart somersault out of fear of what might happen next, If there will be warm bright rays of sun peeking through my window, Like a candle lightning up my tenebrous existence, Or blazing me in its flaring daylight
Often I wonder, If people stand by what's right, And not justify the wrong side, Even if their loved ones are culprits, Or they are the ones to commit, Will they stand by what's right? Or be blinded by the thin thread of love they share, And hate and curse the one who is not to be blamed, I wonder, If they ever look beyond what their favorites say, If they ever try to hear the unheard side of the story, Instead of manifesting their undying love for their beloved, And not exhibiting their selective favouritism, I wonder and wish if they stood by what's right!
No matter how many times I write it down, The low sinking feeling doesn't fade away, I'm wrapped up in my life as various incidents take place, But in all that chaos, It takes just a minute to find myself in this insane world, And it's then that I'm hit with bullets of harsh awakenings, But what kind of bleeding is that when I still recover? Everytime I feel like my tears have dried up, They stream down like a fresh river, If it were in my hands, I'd rip this page from the book called life, And tear it into teensy bits, Or run away from this hurtful chain of events, As far as my legs could take me, I would, But even if I run miles away, With glass piercing my bare feet, the blood leaving my footprints, And in all breathlessness when I look back, It's still behind me like an afternoon shadow, And as the sun goes down, It turns into darkness, Wrapping me up all in its black and night, And here I go again...