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  • asphodel_ 30w

    Every morning the sunshine shines upon me blooming another day of lonliness.
    What happens when you realise you have enough whom you can love and care about but noone to ask you about the same.
    When you feel so empty and wallop your voice beside that only pillow you own.

    I was surprised to look around and feel that the wind of a happy dream has stopped flowing and that no more sunflowers can be planted over that rough soil of life.

    I'm all alone again....

    Running around to look for those same shoulders defies my senses to believe,
    They were all temporary,
    For a clock
    where their gardens were bloomed by roses
    by my creases.

    People say it hurts when someone" you love leave". But I say it never hurts more the way, when the people who "ones loved you acts different", more precisely who once pretended to love you.

    Love is not always about having a boyfriend or husband sometimes it's about friends, bestfriend, parents and SOMEONE YOU ARE LOOKING INTO THE MIRROR RIGHT NOW.

    Somedays I feel so hollow to continue walking with anyone. A inner voice has started questioning these days, "Why me ? Why always me ?

    Compromises happen but there comes a time when you no more help enjoying and helping others. When you feel like not showing anyone how important they are.
    Sometimes it's just me who need this.
    Sometimes it's just me who should learn how much do I matter.

    But not always the reality is sweet,
    And it's no more a crowd around
    It's just me and me,
    talking to my lonliness ever and forever....


  • asphodel_ 32w

    In search of happiness,
    we all wander
    Perhaps in this hush
    you become blind
    for the smile
    always visiting your door.

    //Start adoring every moment,
    until it's too late for lost zest //


  • asphodel_ 33w

    I want to write but I forgot how to write,
    Please someone teach me to write again :-|

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    Stars shining above,
    and my eyes beholding them
    with disgrace, regret and hatred.

    Those days are dead
    when my pen healed
    shallowness inside me.
    It feels something is lost
    now, the heaviness smells like home.

    I could have written long
    but I lost the art of writing
    which was more of relief to my living.

    It's more of a curse
    to keep things inside
    even when you have someone beside,
    I'm confused,
    What should I name this piece of emptiness
    where it feels good to be lonely
    but death to breathe in solitude.

    Can you name,
    the syndrome I'm going through?


  • asphodel_ 35w

    Red, perhaps the end !

    After a day with long breath
    the sun smokes a beguiling charm
    and visit the home of homeless.
    In the dusty hue of serendipity
    there hides a foe remark of humanity
    where all your flaws refurnish
    and rests on your lap as a gift.

    The doomsday seems near
    for, the destined cause of death,
    every closing eye blink for repentance
    atleast at the end of garden
    flavouring asphodel.

    I sleep to never wake up
    but the volcano under the roots
    kiss all the anger to invade
    futile senses of memories.
    One day,
    with the end of wind
    the clouds will bid a goodbye
    and the thunderstorm singing in a heavy voice,
    "Leave for the good,
    come back for the worst".

    It's gonna end at last,
    every eye will close
    after being not so far.
    Cruel you are,
    the more is the world..

    Time has done enough
    now the red clouds will roar,
    The loss, so fathom' deep
    will make,
    The doomsday 'bleed'.


  • asphodel_ 36w

    Drea(d/m) Nights

    Every night when
    the moon heads high
    and the clock strikes,
    My heart starts
    searching your arms.
    Every dark sky
    indorse the purity
    in my senses
    about the love
    I cherish for you.

    Not every little action
    is silent,
    the way I set my lids open
    just to hold you
    everytime you knock my door,
    blows warmth in the tides.

    You say it's that easy
    to let go
    the halt,
    the tears
    and every curse
    that I put on myself
    in a thought:
    Perhaps I failed
    to love you enough
    my flaws are toxic enough
    Or perhaps
    I'm not worth your love.

    Yes, not every night blush
    seeing you
    in your lover's arm
    not because
    the love had died
    but the ire won over it.
    I sought to love you
    under every possible star,
    but why at last
    I had to sleep alone
    under the same dark sky?

    You say,
    I have crossed
    every mountain
    in being
    the stone hearted,
    But have you ever thought,
    How my nights
    got blemished
    when you left me
    under the shade of
    Will you answer
    my screaming senses
    who were asking for
    your heaven,
    Will you hold my
    shaking hands,
    which are so helpless
    bcz they lost
    their only friend.

    I don't feel
    to have your words
    poured over my scars,
    Bcz they are the gifts
    from your part,
    I'll adore them
    the way I do to you.
    But will you please
    stop pretending to


  • asphodel_ 36w

    There goes the paper boat, leaving a laugh over the face of that 2'3 being. Amidst the splashing rain and blowing wind, it goes and disappears soon in a world so unknown. The next boat comes and gets engulfed by the tide once again. The chine continues and more and more smiles get vanished until the rain departs.

    Under that heavy sky there stands the tiring face of a man, choosing to stay away from the isle of rain.
    Every drop of water falling over that frail sheet yells a story of past where an unusual war started to end something.
    There seems a great fight between what is destined for you and what you wish to have and in the end it's your fate that wins.

    •R A I N•

    Heading high to the sky, it shows how far the clouds are. Probably your wings can touch those but the wind reminds of the dripping drops of broken faith. Indeed the light after the dark sky evaporates the leftover scar, reaped after a huge struggle with your own book wrote with dark red stain.
    The man near me looked at his wet slacked creases, accepting his destiny as the driving force.
    He looked up and smiled,
    Ironically it was the helplessness in him..
    He smiled.

    •P A P E R B O A T S•

    The raw cellulose moulded in thin sheets and unblemished, always held enough power to recite a man's best. I remember my mother carrying hopes wrapped in these papers which often made her eyes shimmer. Everytime I fold it into a paper boat, she asked me to sail it in a direction where lies a land of desires.
    Isn't it funny, the way we once enjoyed this little thing once, is now a homage to our dead aspirations.

    Seeing a child making paper boats don't cherish the child in us anymore rather it shoots the acquaintance with the upcoming future.

    Today it's raining and I wished to sit by the pond and test my fortune once again but the lapse of time covers my head tightly.
    Perhaps nothing is gonna change when there is no war between those paper boats and rain again.
    And the lost boats are struggling to return once again.
    And they are lost again....

    P.S writing after a long time , please don't judge.


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  • asphodel_ 37w

    I'm a material enough
    to get thrown in waste,
    I'm little enough
    to never grow and unveil,
    I'm coward enough
    to never stay in a race,
    I'm lost enough
    to never recherish myself again.

    All shades of blue
    owe me ample of memories
    pretty cold,
    still they hold
    as lifeless being.

    Perhaps my head
    lost it's precious jewel,
    Bare as ripped foot
    it stands on the burning sand.

    Not always staying alone
    is chosen for good,
    Look deep into my eyes,
    you will cry,
    Alas! even compulsion
    had a face!!

    The breathe turned stiff
    leaving roof of dark chest.
    Head leaned down
    like it was never gonna
    meet any hope again.


  • asphodel_ 41w

    In this world of selfishness, I competed hard and became the richest person who earned loads of selfishness and greed.

    I might sound empathetic but no I don't want people to sympathize me coz I never deserved it.

    I always thought why am I left unloved but never tried to peep inside my own psyche. The answer lies within me, I'm made of such pieces of darkness and greed that I never dared to look up and find someone else's happiness.

    I always cursed a third person for my sadness and tears but always forgot that it's me, the only one who deserve to suffer.

    Always running forward just to find nothing but superiority, I lost my own hues and have now turned into a ruthless being, who is alone or more accurately saying who deserves to be alone.

    I wish I could have bothered to look into someone's eyes and give them the love they deserved but I ended up being a narcissistic and a person who could never be adored.

    I'm a product of my own deeds and a self obsessed animal.
    Beware of being shadowed even by my shadow, bcz I could bring nothing but darkness and darkness.....

  • asphodel_ 41w

    I could never be a good omen
    even if the soul bleeds for my existence..

  • asphodel_ 44w

    Withstanding failure with courage and a new hope paves greater way to live and succeed