Do you exist? Do you live in this city? Or the next? In this country? In this universe? In this dimension or another? Inconsiderate of where you are if fate puts us at same place , will zephyr tie our red nodes in that tiny moment. Or your presence will turn my tongue sour? Will every inch of epidermis burn with blues that flow in my nerves? Since I despise everything about me and you are everything about me.
I wonder if you too feel involuntary pain, sadness or sudden rush of tears without reason? And then a tiny voice gasps and murmurs its your soulmate ? Felt that gush of happiness which I rarely feel when my father embrace me? The fear of abandonment, when I desperatly dig my claws in that last inch of hope. Do you feel my existence?
Who are you? The brown eyes ,cute smile and curly hair guy who I liked alot in middle school? Or the one who pulled me out of trouble everytime in high school? Or you were my first heart break? Or we are yet to meet..? Anyway I'm no Aricia, I'm that masochist warrior who is scared. I wear sad smile with baggy clothes and my eyes long for skies.
I never wrote for you. You were always a last wish of mine that never made its way out from my mind. You were kept behind a door called "high expectations " and I never had enough courage to open it but right now when I peek through it, it's beautiful and yet childish. I want to know your thoughts about "soulmates" and make chain of beads of your thoughts so that I can tie it around my heart for it to know boundaries.
Does the weight of anxiety crush you and make nights unbearable? Your wrists itch for new cuts to serve as distraction for pain? Do you often beg this universe to make it a little easier on you? Have you grown up too early? Are you fragile like my heart ? Or you fall beautifully like cherry blossom? Do you look for reassurance if someone will be there for you? Then don't worry, I will be there on other end of this.
Life is being a great joke right now. Waking up in morning is like being forcefully pulled into warzone.Everyday is a new pain and not a soul to share with. So where are you mate? Your mate needs you. I have damaged myself at an alarming rate. That one wish to meet you might stay in box of unfulfilled wishes , which is already very heavy.
I have been a rock for too long . But now there are cracks in this stone. Emotions seeped through and turned it fragile.Now the sand of it have asked winds for new home. With every moment slipping away, I'm afraid you might just remain one of my vague wish. So before next tides wash me away , I hope you find my adobe.
Time was running out and my vision started to get blurry . I had to save Dad, I couldn't let him die!
"BEEP, BEEP, BEEP"
what's this noise? No, I couldn't be distracted. I knocked my mom with a wooden piece and ran as fast as I could.
I saw dad , his face drowned in blood ..
I wake up with my head spinning . It took me a moment to realize that I stink of medicines and I'm in hospital. I hear the footsteps of my mother outside the room, how can I forget that sound. Her footsteps are disrupted by the voice of a man who is dressed as lawyer.
"Since It's been two years Mr William Smith is dead and the reason of his death is unknown . Finally investigation has stopped. So now you have the full custody of Abarrane"
My mother gave him a warm smile and as she enter room, a guy dash into her and run towards me, hugs me tightly and asks, "Remember me.. I'm Alec..its been two years since you were in coma"
I nod my head and as I try to tell him that my mother killed my father, none words come out of my chapped lips. I clench my hands in anger. I try to speak again and I cannot. I try yet again and fail.
I look at mom, she smirks behind Alec. My heart crushes and tear droplets make their way through my eyes. Mom runs to me , holds my hand with sadness,"Abarren sweetheart, mom is so sorry to tell you that you can never speak again."
@_aesthete_ Mihiiiiii ,our whole team is so so glad that you came up with this challenge and we all could write together. We all just cannot THANK YOU ENOUGH. We had such a great time writing together and it was all because of YOU . WE LOVE YOU MIHI.
I noticed an unusual outrage in her voice, it seems like she had done a quarrel lately. I went down and sat on my chair. The dinner was already served, there was piquant Lentil Soup and my favorite ambrosial Vegetable Lasagna. Mom was a little engaged in official work as she got an urgent call from one of her clients, and dad was not at home. I didn't want to eat alone so I threw my food in the outside dustbin and gone upstairs to sleep.
As usual, before sleeping I took up my journal, the pen of dad, and wrote about the loneliness that I was feeling. It always felt somewhat good after scribbling down the whole mess of my nous on paper, maybe because of my connection with poems, or maybe with my dad and his pen? I was utterly lost in my thoughts then abruptly I heard some noise coming from the basement. I was prying to know who was there, so I went outside nonchalantly?
It was my dad and he was fighting with mom. I heard both of them screaming about something related to Divorce and my custody. Suddenly the air feels too short to breathe, it started strangling me and the tears started oozing out of my eyes. Afraid of mom I rushed to my room hastily and laid down on my bed, sobbing alone hiding under the blanket. It had been three hours I was crying, the time was almost 1:30 AM and somebody opened the door-
I felt like a computer without an output device A blank face and dried eyes like a deserted premise Trying to let go off the reminisces of every sacrifice I entered my grave witnesseth of humanity's demise
Compassion shed tears as it watched me strive But no one came forward to take me out alive Comes off as even if they had any odds to revive They'd never want to see me conquer and thrive
To disfigure my clitoris, necrophiles were so keen Placating the rage that swelled ever since sixteen They raped my corpse & suck my honour all clean Served on the concrete, I was an exquisite cuisine
My soul stood aside to notice the vengeance I had to pay for my hatred towards their pretence Cackling hard as they all impose a penance As it begged to leave me for the sake of heavens
I have a different kind of connection with you, a spark that I haven't felt with any of my crush. Talking to you feels like being under a warm blanket on cold nights. I don't know what's it about you, but you make everything less chaotic and lively. You bring out the kid in me, which I've buried deep in my heart so safe that no one or even I could never reach it. But you made it easy. I don't feel embarrassed or ashamed of being silly, amatuer or whoever I wanted myself to be. I find you so cute when you are frustrated and yell on some random people. May be it sounds little weird, but I feel your presence listening to your playlist, every evening walking across the road under the streetlights.
Somedays I can't stop thinking about you but the other days i think why am I wasting my time even though I can't see any future together. Well! I'm hopeless. One part of me wants to think about you and the other part regrets doing that. End of the day, your thoughts make me feel alive and fall asleep with a mischievous smile on my face or can I say, I blush thinking of those rare midnight conversations we hold?
Why is all of my thoughts so pure about us? I don't know. All I can ever think of is how perfectly weird couple we could be and how much of cute byproduct we could together creat. I think of disturbing you when you are busy cooking in the kitchen and playing who-completes-first sort of games with food, because of the fact that we both are foodies.
May be, I loved living in my own little world, and so I never had any rush to confess about my feelings for you. I won't, probably never. Or perhaps, I might tell you the day I'm completely over you, because then it would be all about past and makes it easier for me. But the question here to myself is, can I get over you? If I did, then probably because it's just crush. What If I can't? And this thought scares the shit outta me.
a warm night and couple of cigarettes just you and me and no regrets a warm night us holding hands vowing each other to stick till the end a warm night and a clear sky we hugged each other and took a sigh
from a warm night to this cold one from the two of us to just one