Constellations weathering gleam and spark to the alighting cimmerian night to overpower the dusk in the frigus of winter that faded away as a scintilla.
Sight of a mazarine dream that held me in trance was his ceasing eyes,his poetries that seemed to be rhyming with my metaphors wiggled out from the depths of his vocal,aubade swaying as a tutti with the verses.
Gazing at the azure,aeonian orb sparwled as a mirror,the ocean stared back at us, lacing our hands he led us into the crystal beauty, echoes of whales resuming it's vagary etched in it's shallow bed.
I stepped on the sand once again,my eyes travelled around for that particular ‘him' but no one was there.
Rutilant moonlight sprayed on my petite facade, waking me from my slumber, the aroma of paint embraced me,I peeked at the vision of my dream which was drooled all over the canvas, he was the art that I fabricated with my hands.
Getting lost in his eyes, I whispered
// I fell in your utopia, though in reality I was never close to you.// The caelum that thought I was in got vanished into stygian night that left me to be forlorn.
•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~ Inspiration from a song called Utopia by Annie Leblanc.
I wrote a long writing after a loongg time Facing writersblock again so the only thing I think about is one-liner ..
Peace and tranquility seem like a dream to me. So ironical though, as dreams are the reason for my misery. These dreams, they don't allow me to shut my eyes as they fear their existence would never become a reality. They fear they'll be another forgotten chapter. Hence, they pound on my imagination to carve their place.
I'm tired now! Tired of dreaming. Tired of telling myself that the silver lining is just around the corner. Tired of reminding myself that the gazebo of darkness will lead me to my home, to my sunshine. Tired of pacifying myself that this too shall pass. Tired of consoling myself, for this is just a phase.
My heart wants to take control but my head won't leave the throne. I guess I gave too much power to it as now it possesses more than me. Forcing me to relinquish control over my very own body.
As a kid, dreams fascinated me. For how our imagination could construct a world of itself. Where everything goes according to our desire. Nothing to worry about at all. And in this procedure of faking a world, I lost control on the real one.
I have no idea what I want anymore. Do I want to put a smile and believe everything will be fine, or do I want to stay betwixt the cobwebs of the dark attic where I'm a prisoner currently? For I've lost track of everything. Discombobulated to the core.
It had been just few minutes since Marlin had called me to pay the rent of the apartment but as I broke the promise of paying everything yesterday , he called me and ordered me to leave the apartment as soon as possible leaving me panic-stricken in trepidation. I swear , I intended to keep my promise until my documents were stolen. Yes, I was going to get promoted by my boss but being down on my bad luck , my hand-bag that had money and my research documents was thieved by a creepy man yesterday because of which not only I lost my promotion but also my apartment. , ' . I am going to persuade Marlin to permit me some more time although I had used the same statement blatantly thousand of times before him. I hope he just approves otheriwse I will have no where else to go. Gosh , I will be dead and I am already screwed. I started climbing the stairs and my heart was pounding rapidy as if it was going to come out of my chest anytime soon. I approached Marlin's door and knocked twice while taking a deep breath. , ! Marlin came out of the door startling me and by considering his appearance , it seemed like he was drinking with his peers but as soon as his gaze fell on me , he said more like stuttered ,
“ Youuuuu , little piece of whore !! When the fuck are you gonna leave the apartment ? ”
His way of addressing me was not a new thing since he was a thoughtless man blessed with a real shitty mouth and you shouldn't waste your 0.00000000000001 milli second in talking something logical with the illogical people.
“ Marlin, please give me some time. My bag was stolen yesterday. I have no place to go. Please, I swear I am going to pay everything within this month. ”
I endeavoured to convince him while pleading with my puppy eyes which never work unlike others yet I hope it does. I am so stupid , I know.
After pondering for a while , he finally replied , “ Okay ! Only for this time. But you have gotta pay me extra for the delay. ”
Oh my gosh ! I couldn't believe he just agreed. Did I hear something wrong ?
“ Yes ! Sure ! Tell me the sum of amount that I need to pay and I assure you , you won't have any complain from now on. Thank-you so much for understanding.”
He nodded grimly and indicated me to come inside and so did I but there was something in the way he looked at me , like he was doing so much more than just taking in my form like others do . As I looked around the room , I found myself surrounded with a great number of empty beer bottles lying lifelessly on the floor and not to mention it smelled absolutely foul here. I awkwardly stood waiting for Marlin to show up with a total sum that I need to pay in this upcoming month while praying that he just doesn't add a lot of extra amount to my already pending rent that probably must be a herculean task to pay within a month but I'll work harder in order to impress my boss and hopefully he promotes me. He appeared within minutes that made me come out of the cloud of the comprehensions that I never fail to create but he began arranging the mess of the room as if I was a freaking statue. Was he insane or couldn't he see me ? Or did he just forget why I was standing here for ? I whisper yelled at him ,
“ Marlin, how much do I need to pay ? I was waiting . ”
He grinned again , it was not the same grin we love , it was kind of creepy. His calculated gaze moved all over my body.
He slurred , “ You need to pay me now !!!! ”
Okay, this man was clearly not into his senses. “ But we just now had a talk that you were gonna allow me and give me some time. Marlin, please. ”
He placed his hands on his flushed cheeks as if I wasn't able to imply what he was trying to speak, “ Pay me now or Sleep with me. ”
What ! He Just Did Not Say That ! He started checking out my body with his nauseating eyes and I've had enough.
“ First of all - My face is here dickhead !! Second- Idea of being homeless is million times and trillion times better than being at a pervet's apartment. Don't you dare say such a thing to me , you filthy disgusting bastard ! ”
I snorted and proceeded towards the door but he somehow happened to grab my arm harshly making me turn over. I immediately tried to push him off which only resulted into him applying more pressure on my arms. Sure, it would leave bruises there.
“ Let me go , you asshole ! ” I attempted to kick him on his nuts but he grabbed my knee brutally.
“ Say that again and I'm gonna hurt you more , ” He let out his creepy smile and and I felt shudder down my spine. The unwanted flashbacks of Mr. Blake's torment who was the owner of the foster care where I was sent to after my parents' death returned to me as if freezing cold water was being poured on my body. He would make us children do the chores through out the day and would give us very little amount of left-over rotten food to eat. The day when I thought of complaining about him to others , he starved me to death and forced me to watch porn threatening me that he'll do the same nasty things to me if I'll ever dare to do that again. I suddenly jerked away as I felt something wet on my neck that snapped me out of my flashbacks and realised that the pervert was kissing me there while his left hand was firmly holding my waist so that he could have more access to my body. It was sickening me but I eventually found a way of kicking him where the sun doesn't shine and I succeeded. I ran as fast as I could by coming down the stairs while occassionally looking at my back to ensure that he wasn't following me. I suddenly lost my balance due to my lack of practice of ' running ' on heels and thus, fell hard on the hard floor. But I took out my heels within a blink of an eye and threw them away before rushing the hell out of that damned place. I stopped when I knew he couldn't follow me and by that time I was out of breath . I suddenly bursted out into tears though I was trying my best to hold it in. Why was life so tough ?
“ I miss you dad !! I can't do this anymore ! I just can't. ”
I missed him more than anybody and I could do anything to have him back if that's even possible. All of a sudden , I noticed a car's flashlight that was approaching me closer when I heard a familiar husky voice,
“ Joanna Crystal , am I right ? ”
Was it Xavier Blossom ? Due to my lack of general knowledge , my stupid brain wasn't able to recognise such a famous face at the cafe but when I returned there again to find my lost id , granny told me about the mis-conception I had earlier because of which I realised he was indeed a rich ass , the manager of well-known company. Now what he wanted from me. To compensate for accussing him without even knowing him ? Or for disrespecting him ? Damn , my life is a shit. I finally decided to look at him who was already gazing at me through his car's window as if wondering about something very vital and the deep eyes which were catastrophic which had an enchanting colour of a vivid baby blue as a great body of a water that could make anybody kneel on his knees were looking at me confused. His rich chocolate hair that had tousled griminess with high cheeckbones and an angular jaw was something that couldn't be neglected and all the dazzling street lights were making him look sooo... What the hell ? Was I just gawking at him now ? Crap ! But wait a second , how did he know me ?
“ You---you know my name ? ” I stuttered , I hated that my voice sounded so fragile which was booming loud and clear now at this solitude errie place.
#OWFW Check the previous parts if you haven't. Sorry for the sad ending -_*
Well, the ending doesn't seems as a great ending isn't it? Ofcourse it doesn't but i just wanted to deliver this message through my first ff that every story doesn't really have a happy ending. In reality there are only 7 idols and there could be only 7 y/n(s) from millions of y/n (s) hope they end with the best ones.
The poem illustrates the perplexions in the life of a teenage boy. He goes through ups and downs of emotions in his life. The highlighted paradox in the poem is when he looks at his life and visualizes it as a mirror which reflects his sorrows back to him, whereas when it comes to hopes and aspirations, they get refracted into pieces. So his life becomes a reflecting mirror and a refracting object both at the same time. @mirakee@writersnetwork@writersbay#paradox#unisonc