As we sat by each other, beneath the blanket of the starlit sky, I let my words pour out of my heart and almost subconsciously said: "You are the kind of girl people write books about" She looked up at me, her eyes locked with mine, and her lips quiter than the silence of the sea.
"Tragic?" "Huh?" "Isn't tragedy the one people treasure within words? Too afraid to lose? Too mesmerized to set free?
'Cause tragedy is the one that makes them feel powerful. It flatters them. It breaks one to the bones and drags them to death, but leaves enough life in them to impress themselves. To build themselves all over again and feel powerful.
We all spend our lives villainising tragedies and giving us medals of bravery. Thinking we are the strong ones to have kept going. The truth is, we were allowed to keep going. We were left with enough life within us to keep going. On purpose.
Accept it or not, we are all at the mercy of our tragedies".
If forevers ever happened to be true They will go by the name of you And steal a hue of glee To drown in the colour of you From eternal sunrays to seasonal blues Inking miracles as they come true If forevers ever happened to be true They will go by the name of you
The serenity freedom breathes Has fragrance made of you That sprinkles spry hope Onto glooms old and new Stealing the rhythm of a tidal wave Stars will hum a sonnet for you If forevers ever happened to be true They will go by the name of you
If hope was ever to be painted on the canvas, it would wrap itself in the colours of the sunrays trying to ignite the dying life in the last autumn leaf. It would reflect the shine of the star peeping through the shells of the clouds before a storm breaks. Its hues would cast a shadow as dark as the night behind a drunken moon. And its strokes, they would trace the paths of the tides caressing your feet every minute, just to ebb back into oblivion.
If hope was ever to be painted on the canvas, it would dress itself in the rhythm of the heartbeat hums. It would blush in the colours of innocence a flower breathes. And would drench itself in the fragrance of the first raindrop seeping on a barren field.
If hope was ever to be painted on a canvas, it would steal the hues of a sunset in a dying winter. Its silhoutte would echo the warmth of a hearty smile. And its weave, it would breathe in the shape of the vagabond wings, searching for the warmth of an abode before the dusk breaks.
And before you know, it would have left a shade of its silhoutte on your heart, staining it severly, till fear breathes again.
This isn't a write-up. This is a letter. To someone I know will never read. But I still write, hoping one day, my words will echo loud enough to reach the corners of her heart.
28th October 2020 Wednesday
I know I left a long time ago. And I will never trace the footsteps I have walked on. But standing on the shores of the memories, seeing the emotions fade into the horizon, I can't help but blend into the shadows of these monochromatic words.
The sky is starless again. The smoke that owns the night leaves an essence of a past I could never forget. And the tick tock of the clock reminds me of my heartbeat racing against it. 5 years ago.
My eyes were on the door. And my patience, on the stillness of the clock. I knew you were gone. Forever. For better. But the heart wants what it wants. And then, the clock striked 8. Somebody shouted "What was the timing of her flight?" and I, without flinching a little said "8 p.m."
Wednesdays. They were never my favourite. And ever since you left me on that fateful night of October, I started hating them more. They all asked me "aren't you sad that your bestfriend left forever?" and I, with my eyes still on the door, said "No".
Time slipped away like sand through the hands. But left behind a raw dust of turbulent emotions. Voids after voids echoed through my heart and the whirlpool of miseries drowned my conscience. I wandered between the cycles of finding myself and losing identity all over again. A utopia called solace, seemed too far away.
It took time five years to bring 28th october another Wednesday, and to me, another life. Your sudden departure without a goodbye left a void. A void that never left my side. From a depressed child on medications, to a confident girl, you taught me a lot. You taught me how to smile. How to laugh. And how to fight. You taught me how to live. But your absence layered over all those lessons.
Five years ago, today, destiny erased the chapters of glee from my life. And wrote for me, the miseries that haunt me every night.
Five years later, now, I am ready to re-write the book of my life with the wings of freedom. The freedom with which I am ready to fly again.
I am heading to detach myself from all the memories that chain me from the foot of fears. And allowing myself to embrace life again.
You miss rain on a day like this, the first raindrop splattering on the broken twigs as roots slowly drown into the soil for a new life, a new beginning as if someone just hit a reset button. There is a sense of home in the emanating petrichor from the first rain that hits your skin. I do not know what it carries; sadness or happiness or longing for a familiar touch.
You talk in the strangest times about things that keep flooding your mind. Of all the seasons you romanticized about, how you always hated the summer.
Why do you love rain? Is it the subtle sadness it brings on a sunny day? You always had a thing for melancholy, or is it the way it touches your skin in a way that no one ever did? Does it burn when it kisses your summer scars?
I've always loved the way how you talk about rain. Of all the people you ever loved who never knew how to love you back, I wonder if anyone ever danced with you in heavy rain.
If you ask me, the pursuit of happiness is a lie; if you want to feel the world, you need to take it all in. From the way the flower blooms, how it gently open its petals to see the beauty of the world, to how it slowly burn and wither away into the soil as if it was never there. If I could, I would've told you all about it, about how to feel the world, bit by bit, word by word.
every day of being human is a war. every night I buckle up and set myself en route to the endless road- wordless, 'cuz everyone's chasing the same goal, the same mystery, the same journey.
at one point midway, we're all scarecrows hiding behind chalked smiles. angels hover over our lifespan, stretched like north and south poles, we can't see either but they exist, frozen in their own places.
I see people, building walls in and around themselves, I try drawing boundaries to keep them away, often forgetting I'm as much a human as them.
Its a clear blue sky with fluffy white clouds breathing patterns into it. I stare at it far too much, you know how another year may have passed and you're stuck where you are. Things are unsettling, settle for a while and continue to unsettle for long but isn't that how it's supposed to be? Disorderliness, the increase in entropy universally and you're a part of it for even when everything seems like a period(.) in your life, its actually a series of dots (...) taking you somewhere you have to be.
Its a clear blue sky with white fluffy clouds breathing patterns into it and I stare at it far too long to notice the clouds are sailing away. Any other day I would have clicked the beauty in the way they embrace the sky and wondered which of the three pics is the best ,settling for really any of them since all of them were same. Perhaps not, they weren't same, the clouds are moving. You get it, they are in motion no matter what it looks like. A little slow, a bit more serenely, a lot more beautifully.
It's a clear blue sky with white fluffy clouds breathing patterns into it and I stared at it far too late. But, as they say, better late than never.
Dear stranger, Its been a bit long since i wrote something for you but i hope you're taking your own time to heal yourself day by day and somehow missed me too did you? ^----^
You know what being a Bollywood fan i grew up with the ideology of #kabhi alvida na kehna ,in our desi samaj there were no as such episodes of goodbyes which were considered good ,always a happy family staying under a single roof,bunch of friends eating from the same lunch box like a proper foodie during the class offcourse,supportive colleagues to help you out of mess at work place,sath nibhana sathiya type married life with lots of twists and turn and blooming love in short a perfect hum sath sath hai script...ok ok is it going too much filmy..better you don't object me let me pour my heart kyuki kya pata kal ho n ho...:"). See the point is all my life we all tried too much to hold on to certain things certain people, there must be a time when you literally begged someone to stay, if your heart beats raced a thousand marathons while waiting for a single text, when your stomach felt endless punches and adrenaline rush choked your voice over a phone call, if you still have a secret corner in your closet for dead roses and old letters, if your call records still recites some buried stories then hey buddy welcome to the club... ! !
Goodbyes were never easy thing to do,you chase every passing hour, you turn back a thousand time to double check if only there was someone still waiting for you, the sudden and uncalled coldness in nights, a capricious restlessness, a strong desire to go back in time, but the ordeals of time has something else in mind,the fate has already shattered all your fantasies ,it altogether breaks you to the extent that you feel numb and there comes a time that if someone would scream your name, your senses don't get affected coz now farewell was no more a burden, it was more like a elixir providing peace to all perished promises, with time you learn that some friendships only flourish till last pages of slam books, that some blood relations too stab your heart , that competition and jealousy finds their existence in every field, you learn and accept that love is poison, painful and not every story have a happiesss endingsss some merely have a monologue of emotions, you learn that let it go was the most peaceful decision . I believe the biggest bliss we have got as human is the ability to forget, slowly the universe heals us for better and it keeps on crossing our fate with strangers, our eyes keeps on catching glimpse of love and friendship under citylights and memories altogether makes us stronger !!
As the sunsets promises another sparkling sunrise, every adieu conspire new beginnings.. Believe in universe.
Take care! You got me okk - hopenotes_here ❤
#strangersays __________________________________________________ It's a good bye to my school life college awaiting!! ✌️ It was too filmy lol..