I had crush on many girls. But,I usually go on a date with you only in my head. The scenes that I play in my head are love,emotion, enjoyment,sadness,anger, compassion, heartbroken, worried,doubtful,desperate. I always had this rush to confess it to you. I did tried to do it sometimes but you always ignored that. I had butterfly or can I say bitterfly rush in my stomach, the moment I think of you. Even you chat with me less, rarely send me good mornings and say good-bye's,I wait for your comment on my post's and mentions but you don't do it,you never asked Tabeeb what u feel about me as we are best freinds, and never asked what type of girl I need in my life. Fearing that out freindship may broke I never tried to confess directly my love for you. But, you are different. You are unexpected. I truly didn't expect you or your effect on me, my mind, my heart, my feelings. No! It wasn't love at first sight. My feelings for you formed gradually. I don't know whether it is called the crush or love, neither do I want to find it. You are the calming breeze that entered my life. You didn't cause any bitter-butterflies in my stomach. There isn't any storm in my heart. You aren't a holiday crush vacation to have and then forget the next morning. You are magic. I don't feel any rush to confess it to you. Because, I enjoy this. The scenes I play in my head are 100% emotional, it's all about a pure bonding.
I met you and all the things I wanted in my lover just started to disappear. I wanted deep blue eyes like clear ocean but all of a sudden your brown tipsy eyes became my favourite. I wanted someone who says few words to make me feel better but the silence around us and the way you hold me with no intention of letting go when I'm crying makes me feel better than any word. I wanted someone who hangout and have bike rides with me but the company you give me on the terrace, gazing at stars on the midnight is precious. And suddenly you are like what I wanted her to be.
I don't crave for 24*7 conversation with you. An hour midnight conversation can feed me for the rest of the days until I talk to you the next time. Maybe you will never know how strongly a boy felt for you. I'm too shy to tell you, so I'll hide it behind I hate you texts. Sometimes, I wish I could ask you, what you think of me. I know, you are not mine and will never be, but I creat this idea that we are together, me being simple and whatever you want me to be. And I often forget it's something I've made up in my head.
I'm not sure if it's love, but it's magical. You are magic. And of all the crushes I've ever had, you are special, the way i felt for you is special and will always be special.
"...aaj subah wo news dekhi kya? " "Kaunsi? " " Hathras rape cas... " " Accha wo! Arey wo to roz ka hai, aaj ki miss ho gayi to kya, kal phirse headlines mei ek aur case hogi, dekhna tum! Lagi shart?? " "....tumhe nhi lagta ye sab jo ho rha hai wo galat ho rha hai? Like, we should do something to put an end to this?!" "haan to tum ladkiyan chote kapde pehenna band kar do na, sab apne aap ruk jayega" . . . . [A 19 year old was brutally gang raped by four men while she had gone to the field to collect fodder, along with her mother. Her body was cremated by the police, allegedly the family was not allowed to even have a 'last look' at the body.]
"....beta tu dhyaan mat de inn sab pe, college nahi jana? Ye to roz ka hai, family ne hee karwaya hoga, government se paise aith ne ke liye. Ye gareeb log paiso ke liye koi bhi hadd paar karde" "......haan 10 lakh!!! ka compensation diya to hai inko, pata nhi ab kis baat ko lekr jhagad rahe hain" "Unki beti ke saath rape hua hai, mar chuki hai wo aur-....." "Sab politics hai beta, tu na dhyaan de " . . -- [Raat ki shift se ghar aa rhi 24 saal ki mahila ka behrehmi se saamuhik balatkar,kerosene daalkar body ko jalaya gaya Aakhir chupp kyun hai sarkar ?!]
"ab raat raat tak aurtein ghar se baahr rahengi, to aur kya hee hoga?" -- [Bich sadak par gaadi padi band, mahila ne madad ke liye di awaz, hui balatkar ka shikar. Ek dost ne rape kiya to dusre ne kiya video shoot, police ke paas gayi to video viral karne ki di gayi thi dhamki. Mahila ne aaj subah faasi lagakar li apni jaan]
"kapade chotte pehne honge" "nashe mei hogi " "isko ladkon se madad leni hee kyun thi?! saaf pata chalta hai iska character" -- [Mehej 5 saal ki bacchi ka pita aur bhai dono ne milkar kiya balatkaar. Maa ki gair zimmedari par uthe sawal]
"sahi hai, bacchi ki maa kahan thi uss wakt?!, 5 saal ki bacchi ko akela choddkar kaha chali gayi?! " -- [Russian tourist woman raped in Goa, driver accused of the henious crime]
"arey ye firangiyon ka roz kaa hai, ek to aadhe nange kapde, upar se nashe mei dang, inko to ye sab ka aadat hai" "saale ashleel angrez, yahan pe aake humare desh ka naam badnaam karenge bas! " -- [90 saal ki mahila ka sunsan jagah le jaakr kiya gaya balatkar, mahila ke lagatar virodh karne par bhi uski ek na maani baat, buri tarah ghayal, haadse ke baad kaafi gehre sagme mei thi pidita,aspatal mei do din ki jindagi aur maut ke bich jung ladhne ke baad, kal raat li aakhri saanse]
"ye buddhi sabse ladhti rehti thi, har baat se takleef thi yaar isko, pura din jhig-jhig, gusse mei aakr kar diya hoga kisine, waise bhi umr se jyada jindagi to jee chuki thi,ek na ek din to marna hee tha na...." -- [Pati ne kiya apni hee patni ka balatkar, badnaami ke dar se mahila ne li apni jaan, sasural walon ne thukraye saare aarop]
"ye kya baat hui ?! Arey pati tha uska, patni ka to farz banta hai uski kwahishein pura karne ka. Mujhe to lagta hai iss aurat ke jarur kisi gair mard ke saath najaisz sambandh rahe honge" -- [Billi ke bacche ka behrehmi se balatkar, social media par hua video viral, "insaniyat ke naam par dhabba"- tweet kiya *insert celeb name* ne.]
"Hahahaha kya kya khabrein dikhate hain aaj kal ke news waale, channel change kar na jara, match laga, score dekhna hai" "....waise, ye *insert celeb name* ki nayi picture kab aa rhi hai? " --- "Bhaiyya, wo... " "Haan bol...? " "Mere saath bhi..ra...r.. rape hua hai... " "- ...wo tune chotte kapd....*silence* "
~Aish ............................................................... @kehta_hai_joker thanks for this initiative.