❤5⃣�� AGNOSTIC We Live On The DARK Side��

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  • an_mars 5w

    There are things that I want to remember and some that I want to forget .

    I want to remember how you unexpectedly came to me even though I'm not wishing for someone like you .
    But I want to forget how you stood up and left me even if I begged you over and over not to .

    I want to remember how you openly talk to me about yourself — your stories , secrets , and dreams .
    But I want to forget how you haven't even said a single word when you just walked out that door .

    I want to remember how warm your embraces are in the mornings I wake up next to you .
    But I want to forget how freezing all those nights had become ever since you never came home again .

    I want to remember how happy we were those times when we imagined our lives together in the future .
    But I want to forget how broken I was when you made it clear to me that it will not happen anymore .

    I want to remember how you love me ,
    but I want to forget how it ended .
    I want to remember you , but darling ,
    I want to forget , too .

  • an_mars 8w

    Maybe my head got hit by some reality wall : sarcasm��
    #truth #ownthought

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    Already died,
    But just living
    For the sake of not called


  • an_mars 8w

    #random thought about what could have been right, when you got a choice

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    someday the one who got hurt because of you
    Will definitely die,
    Just because you never thought how deeply it hurt's
    To be left alone, even after giving the whole she can...

    Doesn't it called a crime, to not even let her live when she is alive?

  • an_mars 12w

    PS. I Love You ✨

    I don't want to think about you anymore.
    Because every time I remember you, I get sad and lonely.
    I hate how not okay I am without you.
    I hate that I still want you, even though I shouldn't miss you.
    After everything that happened, I want to make myself believe that we are not meant for each other, but I couldn't accept it. It makes me sad whenever I realize that I gave you so much love, yet it was still not enough for you to keep me.
    I want to be angry for all the things I've done for you that you never try to appreciate.
    But I can't force you to choose me every day, I can't force you to keep me, and I can't force you to stay when you badly want to turn away.

    You love saying goodbye, and I love staying silent. I wouldn't say a word whenever I'm hurt. I just let you leave and let you realize my worth when I'm gone. But do you know what hurts more than seeing you leave? It's the fact that you can't still see my worth even how many times you said goodbye.

    You never really loved me, not even once.


  • an_mars 13w

    Agar wo sahi hai aur mai galat,
    To kya yeh sach hai ki mujhe aaj v us se mohabbat hai,
    Magar use nhi


  • an_mars 17w

    "Perhaps, your reappearance mean nothing but to inform me that you finally moved on while i'm still not.

    - Maybe you already mend the wounds that I left in your heart. Maybe you're now healed and happy.
    And your reappearance is just a weird closure or signal for me to let go too."


  • an_mars 21w

    You see, I never regret meeting you.
    Every minute and day I spent with you was truly the best times of my life. I know I am the best when l'm with you, I am real to myself.
    You brought the best version of me.
    You taught me to take problems lightly, you taught me that some days are gloomy but next days will be filled with light from the sun. I learned to accept failures and to never expect for it results in disappointments.
    You were my biggest fan, do you know that?
    I felt like even if I stumble, you'll always be there to help me from afar.

    And that night after we made love, when I said you were the best thing that ever happened to me, I mean it.
    It doesn't matter if our story will be put into an end, because you were the best part of my book.
    Every page of mine with you are the happiest memories of me. I will never say that you didn't deserve the love I gave, because until now, I still think you deserve all the best.
    You are worth to be loved, and that is what I gave you.
    You deserve to be happy, and that is why I let you go.
    I never take back what I already said. And I will never,
    just because we didn't work out.
    I didn't say that just because I was feeling overwhelmed by your presence.

    I said that because that was how I truly feel. And in this world full of mistakes and disappointments, you're the only thing I was certain about.


  • an_mars 22w

    I feel sorry to those who heard my leaving too soon.
    It makes me wonder now, have I been in touch of so much sunset that I became the person who always say goodbye first?
    Or is this a facade I built unaware?
    Am I that traumatized to be left behind too often that I always look the other way? have I grown professional at leaving that I forget to live at all?
    I want to utter that I miss the laugher on the crowd, the cheers before midnight, the thought of someone being there before going to sleep. I used to stay a lot before.
    I stay too much. I stay a little longer. I stay even at difficult times. I stayed. Now?
    You will see me as the first person who leaves the door the first time the bell rings,
    I say good bye just after dinner at the gatherings,
    I leave notes and say thanks at strangers before the golden, I do farewells as if they were my skincare. I do it.
    I do the leaving before they could fuck my pieces again-

    It's the only perks of saying goodbye. But I hope no one would prescribe this to you. Because it hurts differently.

    Trust me, good bye.

  • an_mars 25w

    Dear PS
    The very first day i talked to you as a stranger,
    I never thought that you'd be someone i will not regret knowing.
    Those late night chai and never ending story we told each other,
    Something strange and a sudden connection i felt that day...
    How can i forget the signs i got when we coincidentally talked about the experiences i had same as yours.
    The way you felt numb seeing me sick in the early morning of Winter.
    And everything you did to make me Happy...
    I wasn't ready to love, but you made me do
    And now when you're out of love it's hard for me to unlove you...
    I may sound fool to say that the way you made me fall in love, please teach me to live without it too, as you were the one who said goodbye...

  • an_mars 25w

    As the night fall
    Something inside me aches for the love i thought will remain forever.
    I had to remind myself everyday that
    You're gone, and this pain remain until i move on keeping the memories of us with me