October reminds me of you. it reminds me of the days we've had together. it reminds of the memories, laughters, smiles and 'us'. it reminds me how happy we two were, and how strong we are today, without each other. it reminds of the innocent arguments that often ended up in text cuddles, if something like that existed.
leaves fall. the shattered pieces of us fall, too. had you been here, every month would've been an october for me. i would've penned down my happiness every month, and sadness on some mondays of our lives. but you aren't here. and since then, my pen has been writing about sorrow. just that october reminds me of some beautiful and happy days we've had and i try to do a little amount of justice to those.
every year, 1st of october brings a smile on my face. smile which is of happiness and sadness, altogether. smile which you bring on my face, without ever existing in front of me. smile which has been through ups and downs but still chose itself. over everything.
october is falling. falling is october. every year, along with the leaves, my fears fall down. along with the winds, my tears fly by. along with the air, my words start composing themselves. along with the nostalgia, i travel into a completely different world of agony and happiness. all together.
i allow myself to grow and often remind myself - you can fall this month but still flower again in april. you can feel a gush of sadness in this month and can still witness wintery evenings and cup of chai with coziness in november. you can cry and laugh at the same time because that's what makes you human.
let the october of our lives remind us that it's just a month that brings several emotions all together, and we can still live with the memories that never leave, however, the human does. let's us all learn, thrive and grow in this month.
I decided to stop writing for you but the reality is my every poem,words & writings belongs to you only. I never said this thing to you maybe this is why now I want to said this out loud now in infinite sky "I have loved you with all my heart".I was so used to be loved by you but now that you've left it kills me every single day.I just know this maybe now you've stopped loving me or the love faded away but there was a time you were so deeply in love with me.Remember! We used to listen to the same playlists.Whenever I see those songs it gives me reminiscences of 'You'.I am not even able to listen to them.I have cried every night thinking about us.Why it didn't last forever?I have lost my faith with this word forever now I just want with the people I am in the present moment I want to live this.One day they may also disappear like you did but it won't hurt anymore because the pain I had after your leaving can't be compared.I just want you to be happy wherever you are.I am not even angry with you I just worry about you.You don't have any idea how much I love you?It is alright if you're not aware of my love but writing this out makes me feel better that I have love you endlessly and will love always.I will never be able to forget about any little thing which is connected with you.And yes I miss you.