Mirakee
Beside oneself
-Even the loudest cracks die a silent death-
©alto_spade
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alto_spade
49w
Read MoreAdrenaline rushed into
my blood, the moment
of downright numbness
sneered at the lid toppling
over my suppressed rage.
Bitter coldness ran on my
flesh, I clenched my fist, my
bones craved for a thrust
of pain and I needed to know
if there was any life left under
the dead man's skin I wore.
I punched, swung my fist at
concrete that stood helplessly
in the dark. Fresh blood tipped
over my bruised knuckles, I
rammed my fist into shivering
waters and in the midst of the
tussle in my head a stinging
sensation clasped my fingers.
As I opened my fist, a sharp
snap broke the silence and I
chuckled at how lifeless it
sounded. I had nothing to give
up on, the walls played victim
and my bones seldom felt the
need to stop.
©alto_spade
19/7/2019 -
alto_spade
49w
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A nostalgic longing to hold a
chunk of lost time ushered
whispers into long hours of
loud love. Our blameworthy
broken promises of an evening
out, forlorn anniversaries and
flirtatious glances of infidelity
thrown for granted were caught
and brushed off for a silent
midday falling apart. When
you grow tired of falling back
to save love, grief files your
tongue, storms don't stop you
from slamming the door shut
and barging out and darkness
seldom feels like another erratic
expression poets ink in metaphors.
Forgetting to swim in the waters
you've made oceans from drowned
me in a myriad of night terrors.
Waking up to a fatal, pitch black
room didn't smoulder my heart
as closing my eyes to your cold
spine did.
©alto_spadeDès vu
-Most of us write poetries for
the love that was never ours-
©alto_spade -
alto_spade
50w
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Nitpicking confessions
from corners of a loose
thread. Silencing squeals
of solicitude for time that
bears suffering more than a
pair of heavy lungs.
A presence holding a name
with uneven breaths waged
a losing war against bones
that knew nothing more than
camouflaging trails of self
destruction.
Making room by walking away
from a claustrophobic heart for
a sunrise beyond the shimmering
city lights. Far, a bit too far, for
anyone to search and question
you.
The purity of incessant pain
remains untouched. As no
matter how far you run and
barge through hell and back,
what stays will stay running
in your veins till you find a way
to let it out.
©alto_spade90 degrees
-It's one of those days when I feel safer
surrounded by walls than people- -
alto_spade
50w
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Your empty eyes melted to no
touch, your fluttering eyelashes
stole courage from the ocean bed
to remain unwaveringly cold, in
the dark you couldn't lie no more
letting the shades you wore to drift
away with the setting sun. As you
leaned over the top rails of your
balcony with a fag in between your
lips, I wondered if another would
be lit and then one more. Your
smeared mascara has tales of its
own, each one screaming out the
words you feared to utter to another
soul. Your nails looked polished
with coal and trimmed to scrape
off unfettered charm, your delicate
wrists hiding beneath your sleeves
still lacked the credence to be flaunted
to the world. The wind blew on your
tears, as it consoled you I saw the
lust bites that you wore on your
collarbone. The sterling silver chain
swirled around your neck, a few
inches away from your tucked away
heart, it homed a tiny crescent
moon that resembled the smile
you've lost. You don't need someone
to share your pain or hear you cry,
you've learned to put on a strong
face all on your own. You don't need
a person to hold you close, kiss you
softly on your scars and caress the
bruises on your waist, you found
out it's easier to jump from one to
the next.
It's a chilly night, the stars ain't
shining bright, the city has gone
to sleep turning off its lights and
you seem too wild to care with
that glass of wine swaying you to
life's misery weaved melody. You
need someone as broken as you
to stitch your pieces together with
his as a friend and a foe. I watch
you take another drag, I want to
get deeper into you, so I bid you
good night as I'm not the stranger
for you tonight.
©alto_spade
1/4 - You can't hide it
#avs1Crescent moon
-You needed someone to hold your hand
in the dark and let it go in the morning-
©alto_spade -
alto_spade
50w
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Bridges collapsed, armies fell, the sky turned crimson purple as nightcrawlers dragged away whisperers into suicide forests where death was the least agonizing torture. I hastened into open ranches, snowy terrains and into the arms of wildfires, brushing off nature's wrath and stumbling closer into hell's jaws. They found me shivering, bleeding, rotting and hanging on to my last breaths in a jet black sea cave pleasing my stomach growls with half handfuls of salt and rock dirt. I was forced to embrace the mayhem under the daylight, I sat through it days and nights, I suffered through it for long hours faking an assuring smile and nodding as a response to stick figures donning teal and white. They let me go into the world, plastic cuboid shapes commanded a herd of insanity doped leaches to feed off on each other's blood. All it would take is a perfect slit, ear to ear, right across the neck to completely silence them and feel nothing at all for one last time. The thought just ran in circles in my clustered mind, knocking down the focal points of tolerance and restraint.
Stitches across my neck, hands and legs strapped to a wooden chair, weights dangling over my shoulders and nail holes adorned my feet under a white light as he walked up to me with a notepad in hand and a bored look dancing on his wrinkles.
Do you want to live?
Do I look like I do?
Do you want to die?
Do you need to ask?
My whimpers were his answers, answers he didn't take to his heart, he scribbled on a piece of paper and handed it to them. They took me to the streets, jolted me around town, clawed my chest and shoved pills down my throat.
Years later, now, I wear only turtlenecks, they tell me to smile, I laugh, they order me to make love, I do, they convince me to spit on my kids, I throw my kin out. At 3:30 in the morning I go to work, I see one of those brainless rebels with slit wrists crying to live a life and I walk away smiling at them. There's no life in hell, there's only pain, excruciating pain and the silent tales are known only to the cilice belt tightening around my neck.
©alto_spade
Heavily, heavily, inspired by George Orwell's 1984.Hoodwinking tricksters
-Death is mercy and it is one reward life
doesn't give away in bundles-
©alto_spade -
alto_spade
50w
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During the nights we ran
through the alleys, dodging
every stranger on the way.
Sneaking into a nightclub
as an escape from the voices
ringing in our heads. We held
hands and caressed our lifelines
that didn't run long.The live
music played quite loud in the
background and drunk dancers
swayed on their toes through
the tipsy night.
One too many shots of grey
goose down your throat dug
thunder from the pit of your
stomach. You are a soul that
knows pain, deep enough to
ignite another. The songs
sound like they were written
for you on a late chilly winter
night in the middle of December.
A striking blow on my nape
shoved me onto the stage with
the world's eyes glued on me.
You were right there in the
front row, cheering and mouthing
unscripted tales. I stood there
motionless with no ounce of
breath enough to utter a word.
It felt like the world came
crashing down and I was in
the middle of a burning hell.
And you were staring, with
the same glint in your eye
that broke the heaven I knew.
Everyone and everything faded,
I was never too far away from you.
The limits I went and the oceans
I swam were nothing to you, call
it grunt work but it went in vain.
You became my worst fear and
looking into your eyes burned my
very own.
May it be in a bar, on a stage,
near the shore, atop of a mountain
or right now in front of my mirror,
you were never beside but inside me.
What I held and feared will always
be lingering in my chest. Dug a
hole to bury my empty memories and
the uneasiness proved to me of
how I was uncomfortable in my
own body.
The seconds clock sounded
like a ticking bomb and I have
no intention of rebelling, so I
wait during the long nights for
a sign that you didn't leave me.
©alto_spadeCalypso
-In between breaths and heartbeats, you've
lost your facade to your struggling misty eyes-
©alto_spade -
alto_spade
51w
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Death slithers through these
iodoform snogged corridors,
knocking on doors which
have prayers and hopes keeping
them shut. Will it choose to embrace
a 15 year old who slit her
wrists giving up to depression
or a half a century old man
who wants to spend a few more
summers in this cold world?
The heavens smirk at this
hellhole, perhaps it was just
a pity smile that lacked courage
to bless. Pain isn't confined,
it's contagious and no number
of painkillers can heal an invisible
wound that gnaws through
flesh and eats up the bones.
A few held inside them agony,
tears and a breaking heart while
a few had no more in them
except for emptiness slowly
creeping in. If death could only
hear a cry, a cry that could
break the silence it masters.
A life's cry that begs for a day
more not for its soul but for
the one it loves.
©alto_spadeGrey wounds
-Goodbyes have a tinge of sadness
lingering around each syllable-
©alto_spade -
alto_spade
51w
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Last night's Rye whiskey
swirls around your half-cut
fingers, intoxicating the
crumbs of bones you are
to forget how madly in
love you were.
The morning after drew
you closer to the hell you've
oddly found comfort in. The
silent cries of melancholy
gambled with the insanely
indestructible pain growing
from the wayward weeds
of hope in your veins.
Reality brings you
down to your knees,
striking you in the gut
and lying in a puddle
of broken trust you
realised you can never
see that sanguine
smile on her face again.
She walked behind you,
following your footprints
in the sand. Digging way
deep into past scars and
judging too quick what she
saw. Frazzled, she wanted
to walk past you.
She did
You could have stopped
her but you have a body
that feeds itself on lonely
heartbreaks and she smelled
like grief you could never
find again.
©alto_spadeTrouvaille
-I found solace in my unspoken words as
they will never have the strength to reach you-
©alto_spade -
alto_spade
51w
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You seldom scribbled
tales of your nightmares,
never tapped your fingers
on escapades, buried
your neck under threads
to cloak the marks you
prized yourself with and
for what life needs to be
lived for is one tale you
always dreamt of knowing
the end. One toss of the
bottle sent whiskey dancing
to the melancholic tunes
winter played as gently as
possible to hush you into
a timeless slumber.
©alto_spade40 winks
-Look around, a bunch of pretty faces with
lonely hearts and you're just one more in the crowd-
©alto_spade -
alto_spade
51w
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I'm at the end of my
rope, I got no patience
left to undo the madcap
knots tightening around
my neck. The euphoria of
reaching to the pinnacle
of passing out filled up my
crumbling lungs with a
hunger for tainted breaths.
The subtle art of compressing
the right carotid artery,
running on the side of my
neck with my head under
flowing water benched
the thought of asking
for help. Under my hood,
pipe dreams got replaced
by choke marks. Hours rolled
by, the pressure on my chest
grew enough to push me
for another try
©alto_spadeFool's paradise
If your fears had a face, it would be your own.
©alto_spade
-
veloc1ty_
20w
Read MoreThe tender tremors of air with their gentle touch and voiceless self have arrived to play with my undone hair tucked underneath my trapper hat. The touch is gentle and lovely but stilted, even the zephyr knows I'm no one else's to touch or feel but his. It has started getting cold here and I might need another layer of blanket, blanket on blanket hung together to keep my body warm. It's dark, everywhere and I feel like I'm the sky, the night sky but not a beautiful one, for there's no star in sight and my perishable huge expanse looks frail and shady. I'm waiting for him to lay his pair of five toed flesh on the ground and head to the balcony and arrest me in his eyes with all the subtlety of a shaft of light cutting my raven veil open. He's on earth but not earthly, he's given me colours which no heavenly body in the history of the universe could've given even to that enormous sky.
//the zephyr knows well not to tresspass the locks of her hair where my winds are settled. the brook that spirals down her hair has tasted my waters and is tainted with my blood. winter has been an enemy from the start but the wool I've placed on her chest keeps its arms away from my muse. the warmth gradually begins to rise when i lay down beside her as the night commences. she's more beautiful than the thousand splendid skies we've both seen, and the stars that are missing from the night are gathered on her cheeks. that's where they fall when lovers wish upon them. im just a simple earthling but she sees me as something heavenly, maybe coz my eyes reflect her own image when she looks at me. //
That distinguished gentleman, when he lies in my bed and rests his head on my chest with his hand wrapping around my waist brings the moment where I wish so bad to have some control over time. Moments spent with him are the only moments when I'm at peace. It sometimes feels that there are no words, no languages to speak, we're mute often and in such times the labellum he owns smiles for me while my eyes, shoo-in to have that gleaming comet look do their job and our heartbeats in the company of his warm breaths sit as liaison between us. The breaths, when they travel down the layer of my clothing to my breast, make me stretch my dainty hand to the scales of his cheek where my thumb makes gentle strokes as i close his eyes.
//time is another adversary of ours, as it slices through the moments we spend in each other's presence. it begins to slither at a higher pace when we start to clasp onto the smiles that fly around from each other's faces. peace arrives only in her presence, and when she's closer, the air remains still, she is what i call serenity and i am always in the dire need of it. words are nothing but emotions that have found wings, and when our eyes speak fluently, they are not needed here to begin with. and when we feel that we've conversed enough for the day, she shuts my eyes close with the slightest of touches from her thumb and lays me to rest. but she herself doesn't go to sleep, she spends the rest of the night staying awake gazing at my face.//
I would cut my wings to see him fly and lend him all of the share of my joy if I found a way to, for I pine around life and dare to breathe just to have another day to see him smile. I'm not making up any wild flattering love story but just layering up my feelings and dreams with the weight of my words that aren't even anything close to describing the kind of love I have for him.
//the wings she's given me have strength inscribed in each feather and i feel my senses of flight coming into motion but my sky is where her feet lays. it's 2 feet above the ground where her bed is and that is where i intend to float before diving into it. we're not faltering a case of an overhyped love story by any means but just cementing our true and true tale with the might of our words that aren't even close to describing the kind of love we have for each other//
©faodail & ©veloc1ty_
the lines in the //...// are mine
@writersnetwork @mirakee.
-
Moksha
(also Moksa, loosely translated, it is
release from the cycle of rebirth)
Description : (on the dais)
'Nameless',
and a bit more that follows:
a heedless hat for the shady head,
had enough space to make the slates,
a cloak knitted with utterance and privileges,
had a pocket with some dispensable stakes,
a shirt of secrets that's never loose,
had a cuff long enough to hide the snakes,
a trouser of convenience that feels too tight,
had a button that loses like the rakes,
a shoe of mistrust that is never worn,
had a lace that ties and slakes!
Judgement : (for the debates)
those suckers for blood,
the inbred insensitivities,
the lachrymal leechees,
beseeching a taste of treachery for their palate,
may be a bit of salt of indifference would beget,
the end of their gluttony,
a gift of guillotine!
Footnote : (without the dates)
Any resemblance to this makes one worthy of condolences! That's all. Anything other than that would be like tasting poison for checking its effectiveness!
©proper_noun -
pragya15
43w
The pain in throat is
Too poisonous that
I can't spit it out
Or allow it to live in
There it's suffocating
Me I can't even
Breathe see
How difficult
Is this just
To be me
This baggage
Of everything
I carried is
Just too much
For me
I don't know how
To make my heart
Free from everything that
I trapped inside.
©pragya15 -
always_true
43w
the old thoughts
all that you have made me believe In the past, I can seem to get it off my head even when the lights shine bright for the new life I am living without you it still won't leave my mind.
I somedays envy those who had their memories erased
the sun will cruise and set again with the orange-blazed color again I wish you were gone
©always_true -
wormholes and lies
the darkness in here
at least blinds me
from seeing all the lies
i'm surrounded with
and neither can I see
the bugs crawling under my skin
(what you can't see
doesn't exist, right?)
i close my eyes
to be met with a
familiar darkness
(the hole is too foreign)
and abstract art of
featureless faces
scream inside.
the screams turn into
loud musical bangs;
my migrane peaks
and I grab the cushioned seat,
crash it into your
worth eight lakhs piano,
the keys flying everywhere
and joining the spiral of your lies.
(and I'm still caught in the eye).
breaking into a cold sweat
I wake up to a dark room,
(painted the walls black,
half are still blue
from when you left)
and shaking, I make my way
to the balcony,
slide open the doors
and pick up each pot
and hurl them
down on the street.
downstairs, I gingerly pick up
the vinlys you bought us,
played each one
and danced with your ghost.
twirled around the room alone
and cried and screamed;
later I sat beside the heap of
broken cd pieces,
giving myself tattoos
and singing along
the silence you left behind.
@lamentations -
©the_dead_poetess
-
faodail
44w
Bits of my courage flake away like
the colour of an autumn leaf.
Would it be a sin to call myself a star?
Because I grow beautiful as the theatre dims,
It was then when the lights were out
the whole world in darkness,
everything going blacker than the
gap between galaxies,
I leave the present and it's fretful claims,
I seek the dim past where my memories stay,
and think of old thoughts and live old scenes anew,
I hold his hand, look into his eyes and touch his lips,
the thought that brought me him,
I play it on an infinite loop,
I can hear the echoes asking,
if there exists someone
who could tear the dark sheet from the sky and bring out the dawn to me,
I don't want to grow with darkness anymore.
Since I can't hear tales from his mouth,
I press my ear against his chest,
his heart like a little clock with silver pendulum pulsing inside I listen to the tales and stories it tells,
I can't wait to see him,
it's got to be even more awful,
a face facing the light, pulled up into a squint
behind the lens,
which must reflect the muggy rising sun when dawn breaks the night
Since we're not young anymore,
weeks have to play the role of years for us.
I contemplate things that are endless,
like the heavens and maybe, love.
Things grow everywhere and so much is possible, miracles do happen,
thoughts from the bright side of my past
returning not as mere thoughts but
as something real would be a good instance.
With my eyes everlasting, the green spark
of the blue-eyed grass of early summer
I get the nerve to ask and exchange
rings with you,
would you move toward me with the same tempo?
Universe's largest ring, it twirls
and sparkles it's way through infinity
I touch him knowing we will not born again tomorrow,
and somehow each of us will help each other live,
and somehow each of us would help each other die,
Like a kid I want to rub sticks together
until friction made combustion,
I'd burn my bed to make a hole into which
I'd put my hand, then arm and eventually
my whole self,
I would fold myself and disappear into the hole,
but before disappearing, like some ancient star,
I'd grab his hand.
©faodail -
e r l e b n i s s e
Some nights I spend cutting paper
into little spirals imagining my skin
between the two chopping knives of
the scissor which always looked at me
as if i was a psychopath with planned
murders crawling in and out of my head
itching to be executed before the sun
awoke, pushing them into the dirt again
‘you have seen nothing of life, kid’ they say
‘is there more horror to be seen worse
than the ones that i have seen in
these seventeen years?’
i knew i would get nothing but a serve
of silence, so i simply took it, putting it
underneath my tongue while the heaps
of unanswered queries smuggled some
of it, hoping it to be an answer but
left utterly disappointed like always
my mama always said that people
loved me for whoever i am
‘name one’ i called out and swallowed
hard already expecting the silence that
followed, it was my only companion
that truly stayed with me these days
some days I spend staring at the sky,
feeling infinite, imagining that no
troubles would peel me apart, piece by piece
if only i were atop the clouds looking
down upon everyone, as my heart
opened its wings and left them free
to flutter and slow-dance with the breeze
some times an unshakable feeling of
homesickness envelopes me, it is
something that i do not like and yet
i convince myself that i have to feel it,
‘i wanna go home’ i mutter perched
on top of the railing of my own balcony
strolling through the asphalt coated streets
looking for some love to steal for myself,
i realise that not to be loved by yourself is
worse than not to be loved by someone
©meghana27 -
blue_lemon_writes
49w
Read MoreI'm lounging on my bed
and listening to the songs.
Suddenly a song plays
and all the inspirational videos
which I've watched so far gone in vain.
I want to cry at the top of my lungs
but my mom is sitting next to me
grimacing me with her dubitable eyes.
I need some fresh air
is all what i say to my mom.
Then I get up and leave the room.
I go on the rooftop and starts
walking with a steady pace, holding
my mobile in one hand and tucking my
tufts behind the ear with another.
The gushes of wind thwacking my chubby visage.
The sky is clear and so is my mind.
My eyes are streaming tears
and I wipe them with my sleeves.
It's okay to cry. It's okay to feel
I say to myself.
I feel every moment which give me pain
and then I let go of that feeling.
I've to live. I've to survive.
Everything happens for a reason.
I console myself and think of
all the beautiful memories which
I ever had experienced.
I look at the cerulean sky with my heartening eyes
and yell It's okay god. I'm fine.
It's okay. I'm fine.
It's okay. I'm fine.
I again play that song and listen to it
by closing my eyes and this time
not a single drop of tear comes out.
I just smile and smile and smile.
I place my hand on my heart
and repeat again and again it's fine and okay.
This happens and this is not the end of my life.
I smile a little more and then gaping at the
squirrels which are squabbling over bread crumbs
which my mom fed them in the evening.
I feel relieved and tell myself that I'm ready
to face the reality. I'll not run away from it.
I go downstairs and tell my mom
that I'm feeling better now
and need her cozy hug.
She hugs me, caresses my hair
with her hands and gives
a peck on my forehead.
She brings me a cup of ginger tea
along with a bowl of french fries.
After finishing it i go to my room
open my diary and pour my heart out.
When i have done it I cross my arms
and hug myself tightly.
It seems that the walls and ceiling are saying
that I deserve better. I deserve everything.
The girl in the scenery seems smiling
and the window pane is blushing.
The wind chime is singing and the
floral curtains are dancing gracefully.
The tick tock of clock seems like
It's intonating the words of my praise.
I take some deep breaths.
Inhale
Exhale
Inhale
Exhale
I rub my palms together and place them
gently on my eyes.
I chant OM, rests my head on my pillow
and sleep peacefully in the arms
of my teddy bear.
©blue_lemon_writes
Image copyright : @blue_lemon_writes :")The girl in the scenery seems smiling
and the window pane is blushing.
The wind chime is singing and the
floral curtains are dancing gracefully.
©blue_lemon_writes -
You have seen me vulnerable and devastated. You always gave me lectures on self love and care. But have you ever tried to understand my mental wiring? You saw my anger and listened to my words which I spoke in anger but have u ever tried to saw my crystal clear heart? I confessed that my behavior and responses to situations were the results of my past traumatic experiences. Despite this you were so cold to me.I told you that I've insecurities and phobias despite this you ignored me. I know I hold special place in your life and you love me a lot afterall I'm your soul friend. I know you do care for me and only for the sake of me you were leaving. But the pain which I felt in my heart and soul was unimaginable. Despite my telling, you were stuck to your decision of leaving me. I knew you met your friend after a year so you wanna spend time with him. But what have I asked you for? Just a warm virtual hug. Just a shoulder to cry upon. Just few consoling words. You failed to gave me these. I kept staring my mobile screen that now you text me and say pls everything will be fine, don't cry. You said these words but coldheartedly. You said u are staying not because you want to stay but because I'm giving you death threats. You said you don't care. I know u didn't mean it but have u ever known these words pierced my heart. You said that I was overreacting but you did forget that you too went through this pain of separation few years back. And you were giving me the same pain by leaving. The thing which hurted me was that you knew how pain feels like and despite this you gave me pain. I know very well who we are to each other. I know what kind of love is in between us. But pain of separation is same whether it's soulmate or soulfriend. Maybe for you it's not. For you leaving me is quite easy. But it's okay. God sent someone to guide me. He said things which I already knew but never implemented in my life. And then I counted my blessings. I am so grateful for everything. I know it was my fault because only my thoughts are responsible for everything what happens in my life according to law of attraction but still I just needed you to console me, that's it. You thought you failed coz you gave me pain and didn't make me fall in love with myself. But in my eyes you won, just coz of you I have learnt the value of self love. Yeah! I love myself more than anything and anyone. Now I don't need validation of others to prove my worth. I know I am worthy of everything and this universe loves me so much.
P.S - I know that I also gave you so much pain but I promise from now onwards I will improve our friendship and keep it healthy. Promise :)
©blue_lemon_writes
