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  • alifrey 8w

    Jaded

    Trying to find the shooting star at night, needing a wish.
    To once again, feel a moment of bliss.
    Where the problems of life are pushed aside.
    No second guessing or wondering why.
    Good things are happening, don't think I deserve.
    Terrified of my emotions, feeling jaded and hurt.
    Vulnerability is like jumping off a cliff into water.
    Some dive right in, others are smarter.
    Take a step back, evaluate risks.
    Seeing the dangers, somebody else might have missed.
    But doing things my way, has worked so far in my decisions.
    After all, nobody else knows my position.
    When I wake up, the sun will still shine.
    So I have to take this all, one day at a time.
    ©alifrey

  • alifrey 13w

    At Ease

    Fog has lifted, sky is no longer hazy.
    Thoughts in our head now, don't seem so crazy.
    Sunrise in the morning and all it's colors.
    Beauty in a child's laughter, curious in all their wonders.
    Strolling downtown on a weekend day for some veggies and fruit.
    Taking selfies in the mirror, feeling ever so cute.
    At the end of the day, peace and ease fill your soul.
    All because your addiction is no longer out of control.
    ©alifrey

  • alifrey 14w

    Short Comings

    The Step says simply that God will remove my shortcomings. The only footwork I must do is "humbly ask," which for me means asking with the knowledge that of myself I am nothing, the Father within "doeth the works."

    For some it's gluttony, food is their addiction
    Make up and selfies, too vein, to hide to their reflection
    Covers up the shame and guilt from somewhere within
    Hating self inside dating sites and adultery, men and woman
    Bottle and pills drowns sorrows for some.
    Taking another life off this earth, selfish and aggressive
    Others must have control and monitor,
    Violent and possessive.
    Breaking the law, violent crimes keep them from running.
    Once you admit your mistakes, you can God to forgive your short-comings.
    ©alifrey

  • alifrey 14w

    Daily Reflection 7/18

    "Now my gratitude seems to be directly linked to humility. As long as I have the humility to be grateful for what I have, God continues to provide for me."

    I have found the humility in my life, I've been searching for, these are what I am grateful for, which the Lord keeps blessing me with each day.

    My lovely Grandma who works hard and enjoys her animals and plants
    Humor and sarcasm all put into my Uncle Lance.
    Working in a field full of emotion and strength.
    Come to us for help when they are going to break.
    Freedom I have, following God's plan and direction.
    Love of my life, provides me security, devotion, and affection.
    Two little people, bring me joy, even a far.
    Stability for them to come back home to, pretty soon a car.
    Couple of girl friends, chatting each day.
    Always make sure each of us are doing okay.
    Legal lawyers who do their best to advocate for me.
    Last but not least, grateful for my sobriety
    ©alifrey

  • alifrey 14w

    Not A Choice

    Wanting to express feelings, hesitate as you speak.
    'fore those around you think they are mild and meek.
    False promises and manipulation happened before.
    Trying now to right your wrongs, excuses no more.
    Accusations come along, you have to take the extra step.
    Picking up the pieces that many have left.
    They did not want to see you destructive and malicious.
    Devil made you take the drink, that was so delicious.
    In the end all you carry are feelings well hidden.
    Family and friends scattered, have said good riddence.
    Now you're begging and pleading for others to see.
    That addiction is not a choice, but a disease.
    ©alifrey

  • alifrey 14w

    Karma

    Many just see my curls and eye shadow
    Don't know the demons I carry or tears I've wallow
    Bubbly and elequent is what I portray
    When my feet hit the floor beginning each day.
    Smile and greet all I'm around
    Happiness and grace can always be found
    When the moments are over and the moon comes out
    Start to see what my feelings are really about
    Second guessing and replaying sweeps over my mind
    Wondering if I was too harsh or sometimes too kind
    As my head hits the pillow, I remember karma is true.
    Do good things and good things happen to you.
    ©alifrey

  • alifrey 14w

    Bud

    Searching for security in a four-legged friend.
    Saw his picture online and brought my heart to mend.
    Had to meet him in person, kids gave him a hug.
    Brought him home the same day, his name was Bud.
    A boxer brindle and pretty, we attached so quick.
    He snagged every snack, and I thought "Damn it!"
    Couldn't be mad, with a face so full of loyalty.
    He helped me through addiction and sobriety.
    We had many homes, and many dog buddies.
    From Taz to Hector, they sure all got muddy.
    Hates being left outside, barked at the door.
    Neighbors at Levi's couldn't be mad, because they me knew before.
    They all came to love him, babysat him a time or two.
    Now he's up in heaven, leaving me blue.
    ©alifrey

  • alifrey 14w

    Consequence

    Alcohol flows through me like an addict to crank
    trauma and genetics is what I have to thank
    blue and red behind me my clean record was over
    Next day brings consequences DUI and sober  with nowhere to hide I shut down and cried
    felt cheated in wrong no explanation why
    devil in my brain take the next drink
    no God around for clarity no morals to think
    now I sit clear-headed brand new reality
    nothing means more now than sobriety
    ©alifrey

  • alifrey 14w

    One Day At A Time

    Walked into a room and thought what a joke.
    Traditions and steps, all took turns as they spoke.
    What an order they thought, we're all addicts at the core.
    Serenity prayer at the end, keep coming back once more.
    Hear stories of heartache, trainwrecks, and probation.
    Jail time, sentencing, there's always a violation.
    Blessing start happening with sobriety they claim to speak of.
    It's all graceful and lovely like the wings of a dove.
    Losing all they have to offer, we welcome them to stay.
    The desire to stop drinking, the

  • alifrey 14w

    Score

    Whether a needle or a glass pipe the temptation is the same
    Devil is wondering if you'll roll the dice on his game.
    Of life or death, squeezing so tight just to choke her.
    Like kyprotnite to superman, Batman to the Joker.
    Powers over you so fiercely, you can never get away.
    Mind spinning, body trembling, family starting to stray.
    Because of a choice, your personality now gone.
    Hatred festering inside, still will be present at dawn.
    Shame and regrets start to come forth, rejection deep seeded.
    Searching for treatment, knowing deep and true it's much needed.
    Coming down is much more painful than any emotion you challenge.
    Puzzle pieces of life, you try to fit together and salvage.
    Needle now replaced with clarity and truth.
    For now you've found the pot of gold, the brokenness why you used.
    Thoughts are still there, to score just one more time.
    To chase that feeling that once got you high.
    But once you play the whole tape through you remember one thing.
    Addiction itself, kept you from living.
    ©alifrey