still exploring myself

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  • ahsila 2w

    You and me

    I don't know when I can
    Ever break from the chain of feelings
    you have created
    May be I miss you
    And may be I lack your warmth
    But I guess it was never meant to be
    Really we have hurt each other a lot
    Don't you agree ?
    I guess we are far less related than strangers
    Strangers that once knew no bound would ever separate them
    But now look at us
    We both are hurting
    I don't know when will I move on from your memories
    I am trying to break free from the chain of my feelings
    I need to hold myself up again
    I need to search myself again

  • ahsila 6w

    Dear you

    Though I have missed you for so long
    I can't talk to you
    Though I have missed your warmthness
    I can't beg you
    Though I have wanted you
    I can't have you
    Though my life is crumbling without you
    I can't even see you
    It's been a lots of ups and downs
    I don't know how I will be holding this without you

  • ahsila 6w

    Would it ?

    Sometimes i wonder
    Would my life be better
    If I had made the right decision
    Would it be peaceful
    If I had the courage to accept myself
    Would it be purposeful
    If I had the right mindset
    Would my life be happier
    If I had try to be a little more like myself

  • ahsila 7w

    Sometimes the situations are too overwhelming
    I broke down in pain in utter silence
    Hiding from everyone
    Hoping if only I was enough

  • ahsila 8w

    I have distanced myself from me
    Pretending to be alright
    Pretending to be fine
    Now its too blurred that
    I can't even recognize myself

  • ahsila 8w

    Empty Night

    I guess it's too hard to forget you
    No matter how much I try
    Your stupidity your smile haunt me every second
    Every day is a struggle between me and your memories
    You have been deeply engraved your presence in my life
    I guess I really miss the warmthness you had
    The smile you wore
    the jokes you made
    But in the end
    Everything faded except these feelings are left with me
    I guess I don't really miss you
    I miss the feeling of being with you.

  • ahsila 9w

    Someday it feels as if I don't deserve to be happy
    And that's the reason why I am not happy

  • ahsila 9w

    I have created so many ways
    To hurt myself deeper than ever

  • ahsila 10w


    Well the strange part is
    It all didn't matter
    How I wanted things to be
    What I hoped and expected for
    It turned out the way I
    have never wanted
    And now its all messed
    Messier it's getting
    How am I supposed to cope with this
    The world seems to be shrinking for me
    Constantly trying to find my way through it
    I shattered myself into pieces searching for happiness.

  • ahsila 11w

    Whom ?

    To whom should I tell
    The feelings I have hidden
    The pain I have been feeling
    The heaviness everyday I feel when it hits the night
    All the flaws and scars I bear
    All the mistakes and hope I have in my life
    I sat in the corner of the starry night wondering
    To whom should I tell about myself