Amateur writer Using words to express Introvert soul with a chaotic mind

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  • _rantings_of_a_shy_soul_ 1w


    The pirate sliced my heart and took my life.
    Oh! What a fool I was to hand him out the knife!

    Aren't I the one to blame,
    For inviting a cheat to the game?

    Without mercy he ripped me open,
    Chuckling to himself, seeing me broken.

    In need of help, I thought he might be,
    Ignoring his ruthless reputation, I could clearly see.

    I drowned in the depths trying to save him,
    While he sailed off, leaving me in the deep, dark, dim.

    Am I that ill-fated, I wondered?
    That such a betrayer could flee, after all that he had rendered?

  • _rantings_of_a_shy_soul_ 1w


    She saw him standing right in front of her, his dark black eyes fixed on her as if piercing her soul. And that's when all her restraint left her. She let herself drop into his arms breaking into a pool of tears that had been building up within her for years. Her eyes blurred, she couldn't see. But, she didn't need to.. Anymore. For now, she was safe. She FELT safe than ever before.

    She ran towards her and clutched him hard, her body shaking as she crushed herself against his, as if she feared that if she loosened her grip on him, he would run away... Again. But this time, he held her too, firmly, stroking her head gently as if it was a silent, unspoken gesture of letting her know, of letting her believe of how unforgivingly sorry he was, for what he did to her and that he was never going to leave her. NEVER. This time, he had come to stay. Forever.

    She buried her face in his chest and cried. Cried for what seemed like hours, making his shirt wet. And he let her cry as long as she wished, occasionally whispering, soothing words in her ears that longed to hear his voice, and planting a loving kiss on her head, for he knew how much she needed to let it all out.

    They sat like that, entwined in each others arms until her puffed up eyes couldn't hold them any longer and gently they closed shut. After years of tormented days and nightmarish nights, she finally had a peaceful sleep which she so long craved. And he smiled to himself in relief, wiping a trickle of year from her eyelash, convinced that at last she was in harmony.

  • _rantings_of_a_shy_soul_ 1w


    I knew it was doomed the moment I laid my eyes on him. Tall, tousled hair, that lopsided grin, and the vile spark in those beautiful brown eyes! The way he stood leaning against the wall, his demeanour screamed "danger" as if beckoning me to run as far as possible never looking back. But it seemed that he had some sort of a magnetic pull that urged me to plunge into that inevitable danger. The mysterious aura around him pushed me to break through his complexion and explores the depths of his being. My indifference towards life was taken over by a sudden burst of curiosity. Curiosity that was aroused by him.

    He brushed past me and his arm scraped my shoulder subtly. But that minute touch was enough to make my stomach churn. My mind drifted to inappropriate regions, as I wondered what his hands upon me would feel like. But I shrugged that thought away not dreading to walk on that improper path I was so keen to venture into.

    He smelled of cigarettes and adventure and perhaps something else. Sin maybe? A sin I would gladly commit even if it ruined me. I wanted to feel the thrill as he slowly took his time to destroy me. I wanted to get consumed by the alluring darkness he carried even if it meant I would never be able to catch a glimpse of light, ever! It felt that be had a world of his own, a world far far away from the one I was inhabiting. And I longed to get lost in his world even if there was no escape. I knew I would be trapped willingly. The only question that arose was, was I really ready to walk this dangerously beautiful path?

    At that moment he laughed, throwing back his head and when he regained his composure his eyes locked mine for the briefest moment and he gave me something which resembled a smile as if luring me as if he could read my mind, see my dilemma, and asking me to invade his territory. And that was the last thing I needed. Yeah, you guessed it right, I got my answer!

  • _rantings_of_a_shy_soul_ 1w

    Ode To The Quiet Ones

    She tries so hard but never feels a part of anything. It seems that she's an outcast, that her friends are better off without her. And even though she doesn't say it, it kills her from the inside. She feels no one really needs her, no one wants to listen to what's running on her mind. She's always the one who is left behind because she never nags to hang out as she thinks it might bother them if she tags along.

    She feels alone even when surrounded by people, she feels she doesn't belong or matter to anyone. That if one fine day she disappears people would even fail to notice that she's gone. That's how much invisible she is. Perhaps she craves for assurance, and security, to feel that she too is important, that she matters and is not as invisible as she thinks she is.

    People assume that she's happy alone, she's content in being with herself, and that's am image she herself has implanted in everyone's mind. And yes, it might be somewhat true but that doesn't mean she doesn't want to make new friends, she just needs time to open up. But in this fast-paced world, who's gonna give her the time to open up? To dig deep within her heart and find out all the treasures she has been hiding so far from everyone. Who's gonna listen to her when everyone is busy sharing their own stories? Who's gonna break her high walls and explore what's inside? Who?

    How long will it take for people to understand that even the quietest ones have things to say, tons of bottled up things to share? How long till these loners drown themselves in their own loneliness?

  • _rantings_of_a_shy_soul_ 2w

    I wore my scars with pride
    I made crowns from the tears I cried.

  • _rantings_of_a_shy_soul_ 3w

    One Night

    "Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you". But for one night.

    For just one night let's pretend that you're madly in love with me, pretend that you're mine and only mine. And I'll seem to forget that you belong to someone else, I'll forget that I can never be truly yours.

    Let's drink till we loose the sense of time as well as ourselves. Let's give ourselves away to each other. Snuggle close to me and hold me in your arms while I rant about anything and everything under the moon. Stroke my hair, untangling my messy curls and lie to me, that this is forever. Pierce your gaze into mine, tugging at my heartstrings and make me believe that you're there to stay. Let me get lost in your eyes, in your tight embrace, our naked bodies mingled together shamelessly. Whisper in my ear all the things I want to hear from you, your voice sending goosebumps down my skin.

    Seal your lips with mine until I gasp for breath and yet yearn for some more. Head deep inside me, untamed, reaching as far as my soul, waiting to be touched, exploring my frame - all my curves and edges, grazing them with your bare hand until they become tired of the adventure. Let's laugh our hearts out till our eyes water, talking about lame stuff that we won't even remember the next day. Come, let's light a couple of cigarettes and watch the twinkling stars and the sad moon together from the window in complete silence, enshrouded in smoke from the puffs till our eyes give up. After that let's curl up against one another in a deep slumber with your warm breath on my neck and your chest pressed to my bare back!

    But remember, when you leave the next morning, don't leave any trace of you with me, take everything back with you. And if I happen to find myself wrapped in your aroma I'll make sure to shower long enough to drain every bit of you from my being, turning you into just a figment of my imagination. An unforgettable, mesmerizing imagination!

  • _rantings_of_a_shy_soul_ 3w


    She lay still on her bed staring blankly at the ceiling, arms spread by her side. Countless thoughts hit her one by one, flashes of certain familiar places, certain familiar people flashed before her eyes - places she visited, places she wanted to visit, people she loved, people she wished to forget. As all those visualisations attacked her like racing bullets, she felt dizzy. Or was it something else that made her feel that way?

    Feel. Why do we feel some things with such intensity that we get drowned in them? Why can't we go numb? Shut down our overflowing emotions and never feel a thing? Wouldn't that have been better?

    Her mind raced faster than her heart, contemplating everything under the sun. Where did she go wrong? What did she do to deserve this? Was it all her fault? Or was it them? She didn't know. But at that very moment she realised that blaming herself was the easiest option. Isn't it? There's a certain tragic satisfaction in finding faults within ourselves. We all do it. And she did the same.

    Suddenly a surge of pain made her squint her eyes which was followed by a heavy sigh. Enough. It was too much of an exhaustion to bear. They tell you to keep fighting, keep going on and on and on. But they never tell you for how long? For how long can our bruised legs take us forward? For how long can we crawl onward to get our from the mess till our body gives away? For how long do we tell ourselves to keep in breathing when every inch of our shattered body accompanied by the brutal agony urges our soul to escape? How long? They don't tell us. Because, they don't know it themselves.

    But, she was giving up. She was giving in. A tear trickled down from the corner of her eye. But what's new in that right? Everyone cries - some in front of everyone, some alone, while others cry and bleed inside. However, on that fateful day, something else trickled that was not colourless like her tears, it was a bright scarlet. It oozed out from her left wrist flowing straight through her palms passing between her fingers into the white-tiled floor, creating a pool of water- a pool of scarlet red coloured water.

  • _rantings_of_a_shy_soul_ 3w


    I puffed on another cigarette, sucked in the smoke as much as I could and let it out slowly. It was my 3rd that day. Sorry, 4th actually and that too barring the counter shots I had taken. I closed my eyes and let the mild dizziness sink in. That momentary light headedness felt heavenly. It makes you believe that even if for a couple of seconds you're in another world. A world painted with bright colors with a blissful surrounding, far away from the mundanity and sufferings of your daily life. You feel genuinely happy.

    I opened my eyes after that slight vertigo left me and wondered when did I change so much? When did a drag of a cigarette just to experiment became a dire necessity? I remember the first day when I hesitated to draw in the first smoke. It seemed so long ago now. Why did I become like this? Was it life? Or was it my choice completely? I guess a bit of both.

    What makes you smoke you ask? Well, not because it feels cool. (Okey initially it did feel cool, nit anymore though). Perhaps due to the things you can't change, things that are out of your control, out of your grasp. When you feel yourself slipping away, when you search frantically everywhere for a refuge but fail to get one. When you crave someone's presence, only to endure their absence. When you're on the verge of a breakdown but realise there is no shoulder to lean on. When you want to spill out everything bottled up inside your heart but find no one to open up to or no one worth opening up to who will understand you the way you can't even understand yourself. When you want an escape! A temporary escape nevertheless. That's when you smoke. That's when you give in.

    Isn't it? Or do you too find it exaggerating?