With the headphones plugged, The knife tried to kiss my skin thrice, But of all those times, The pressure was too thin, Henceforth I decided to cut over those three lines again, I was bewildered, About why the blood wouldn't pour the fuck out, I am tired of guessing, But then also a coward for not making a cut on the vein and not just above it. With the wavelength of music travelling through my ears, I couldn't stop my tears from flowing out, Now all that's left are the four scratches on my skin, Looking like a swollen bliss, Therefore let me grab a blanket So that my parents don't see this And scare the shit out of themselves... ~PLUTO/S.R
The first time I felt scared of dead bodies Was two years back, On the 13 December of 2019, When the winter couldn't stop my cries from reaching towards your end, From reaching to your lifeless self.
I can still hear your Polaroids speaking tons of wavelength , (An eclipse scenery of your lost self). Have you tasted the freedom yet ? It was from the beginning, wasn't it ? For those feelings were not transferred from the last day, To the day when I saw you coming down in an ambulance, And going back on a wooden plank.
Sometimes I find myself talking to you while looking at the ceiling, As if you can listen to each and every word of my poem. Your anniversary is coming, I wonder , Should I pray for your health ? I hope you are doing okay.
It was chaos and I was crying in the rain, Cause I realised you were at the other end of the thread to which my hand was tied, I wished I had pulled you down with the string. I wished I never went back home from school that day.
- There's not a day which goes by when I fail to remember you, I wonder how much it hurt to make you fade away, I wonder if I could take that pain away.
“Do I know , Or Do I ignore , The little facts floating around me in air, Increasing the density of screams, Ringing inside her swollen cerebellum, Crying out pain, Pouring out the last night's rain. She prays for her end, I wonder if her parents realise, That the place they send her to every morning, Is like a living hell for their butterfly kid." ~PLUTO/S.R . . #lost#butterflykid#pluto#sadshit#usedto
“Looking through the walls Trying to concentrate on what's being taught in the class, The benzene ring seems like a flying blue berry, For the lecturer mocking me is a taste for it's existence. Everybody's speed is too fast,It almost feels like throbbing when I fail to catch up.Tons of un-named kids laughing at me with their mask on,I don't even know their faces, So then how do they know that the marks I scoring are below 20. It's the third floor but then why when I try to reach the basement,, It's feel like I can't walk away From the stairs & their stalking, What lies beneath is the path to my house Which now too Feels like a 3rd grade horror story." ~PLUTO/S.R
My throat hurts For the memories of you Doesn't seem to have vanished. I am accurate about the things I saw that day, How I cried on the balcony after listening to your news. To others we might have not seemed close but in my heart, You always had a special place. I can't stop crying and I hate the month December more than anything , As it coincides next to my birthday. I feel angry at myself For not arguing with others when they called you a coward for what you did,. I wanted to scream , SHE WAS BRAVE ! But then I assumed to have failed, For everytime I try to remember your face, I am always reminded about the one wrapped in a polythene bag. What went so wrong that day ? Even when the bell for the lunch had ended, rang You gave me a bite of your sandwich while calling out my name. Was it so hard that you couldn't keep a contact with me in this so called place ? I wanted to talk so much and share my part of experiences But now it seems that the time has failed us , I wish I could bring you back Even after knowing you don't want to come back . I sill remember everyone's faces , And their despair You looking up from there , Finally , are you doing okay ?
Has it been a day or two ? Ever since this burdened payed me a visit too, As I opened the door, The first thing it asked, “The rain doesn't seems to stop, I wonder if the clouds will stop crying , would you stop crying or are you gonna keep continuing like this ?" I answered, “When the sun arises from the east Even after colliding with the moon, Do you think they like the feeling of being separated? I beg to differ for I am the time They crave and dislike at the same time too..." ~PLUTO/S.R
Hearing her voice , I Feel like choking her skin, Stuffing tissue papers in her mouth Until they reach to the bottom of her vocal cord's lip, For opening her viens up , With an axe Is far too easy, Unlike Inserting needles in her eyes With a blood clot or two. My demons want to shave her head with not a kitchen knife but with a machete as big as an 190cm dude. -PLUTO/S.R
Oldie regreti in his foghorn voice , "Tell me why I'm always avoided " Cause you are massive "You were the one who picked up the knife" But I was just a small child "Kid who was aware of doing suicide?" No, I wanted to red paint the tiles "with the blood from your wrist? " You old foggy! What's your age? "I'm 14 , dated from your very first attempt "
This piece I had wrote a while back just never posted it. Things have been rough lately. Like I myself, tried so many ways to let go of this painful feeling but it kept coming back to me ... Controlled my daily moods and made me feel worthless. But came to realize by the the help of my good friends ... In my eyes and knowledge, There is only one God for me and He is the Truth, The Way, & The life and then I took that path towards him and found the light. I still go through things but that doesn't mean Gods not doing anything for my life. If something goes wrong, I blame the Devil for his wickedness and temptation that try to bring me down and look up to God for Strength and Guidance. I am more than blessed to have took the path that is keeping me steady. #life#friendship#thoughts#diary#poetry#inspiration
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I was trapped in someone else's dream I lived in that until it turned a nightmare Where all my wishes burned into flames The ashes sparked to light in the darkness I waited by the dim light of the leftover hope You came to me as much awaited sunshine
// A loss is always not a loss Sometimes it's a blessing in disguise //