AGAIN , what a strange time this is Caught amidst chaos With none to blame. The sniff of Medical care facilities. Pristine white layout Caretakers running around in a rush. Everything you abhored Hits you back in the face. But today was no ordinary day, Pain escalating to new heights Only demanded a thorough diagnosis So seated as I am. Waiting for my turn, I wonder This place has seen so many hurts.
So I breathe, wait and hope For there is nothing much That can be done If the axe has already hit timber. Shouts of "Timber in the east" "Timber in the west." And me at the epicentre of it all. Holding onto a sliver of hope, FEARING that today doesn't have to be the day that's worse than before.
A part of me is holding back tears For the night didn't hold A promise for the future And I don't see no light at the End of it all. Darkness extended from the Night into morning And I just had to sit through it all. Never giving up on hope though. SEEKing a conclusion While my mind delved into the necessary.
When the world fights a war. I'm hailing a battle with my inner self. Regrets of not doing What I wanted to do. Of making the wrong choices And landing myself in Cartloads of ambiguities. EMPTY promises that lured my heart into Captivity .
Call me wind if you do please For I know not where I'm onward. I keep floating aimlessly Through life trying to Assimilate all my learnings And failures in a bid To make it worth surviving. A fight chance at what's lost. Bring me back to where I now sit. Bereft of peace. But with puzzles I wish to piece together For a fighter I am And hope is my weapon. So let today be the day, I infuse hope into daily living And calm into chaos. For life is never easy, And walking halfway is not for me. This race till the end is mine.
Feel + I loved you a little more than I loved myself
I loved you a little more than I loved myself, For it is with you that I feel complete. And in you it is, that I seek my home. In your calm I find my own. If I had to be asked, Whom do I trust the most? It would be you. My heart says 'Yes'. This heart has felt so many crushing winters She knows right when the rush is something, she can live without or something she can't. My heart says, "You're perfect" Not in the perfection kinda way. But for the imperfections sown on your sleeve. Your never play them down. You are as real as my breath. As pure as the blood in my heart. The imperfect perfection Just like me. No, we aren't alike, Yes you spell moon Me the sun, yet inseparable. I realise we don't have to be alike To be in love. Our uniqueness is what makes us Perfect for each other. And yet still we'll have our disagreements and how. And why not, But I promise they won't be the ones to uproot our layers of understanding that have been our foundation. This, what we have so hopefully sowed, Watered, cared for. I'm still caring for them With all I have. Knowing fully well that it is What is required to a beautiful something That will keep growing in our garden of love. Our home, some place we can call our own. You and I. I'm bad at predictions Even worse at interpretation So its my now..I have. And I ain't waiting another lifetime, Like they say in the books. I have a life right here and as far as my eyes go I can see it will be beautiful with you and me. Exactly like you are, As clumsy as me, You standing tall, Me holding onto you. When your weary, come to me. And you will know what peace is. Rest in my arms and feel loved, A love, you so deserve A love, thats only meant for you. A love that will henceforth Be your strength, A love that is real. You know what I say is true. Wherever you may go, whatever you may do Know well, at the end of it all I'm waiting for you, My home.
I paint the sky with the Romantic nights, Stars are smiling behind the Thundering nights. I am just an imperfect insomniac But,when i see myself Sleeping on the bed of His eyes, lenses are my colourful Blanket, and i groom my self Into being perfect.
I paint my nights with the Poets pain,i will steal some Silver colour from the moon To write my poetries on His imperfect brown skin with my white quill, When he is just Twirling his tongue Over his lips,i can taste The flavour of his lips On mine.
The neighbour sleeping next to me, Wakes me up, ohh! I just forgot That i am the shining Star of the Constellation,ohh yes i am in the graveyard It was the nostalgia of his memories That have made home inside me I just utter my pain in the form Of poetry,i am the imperfect poet With the perpetual pain but my poetries Are just perfect.
//on the frame of life i see that we are not smiling together,u loved my flaws and i loved your imperfection//
̶A broken jar of blue hope. Grey ocean in my eyes. Red acrylic through the veins. Sparkling glitters of expectations. Two spoons of bitter pain. Sweet mist of memories. Texts having "goodbyes" Five drops of rain. Black ashes of agony. Butterflies in the ribcage. One buckets of scattered pages. A bunch of sick roses. Crying poems inside the head. White pallette holding dry colours. ~An unfinished cynical canvas. ~A soul solving twisted life equations.
Last spring, I started going through the text logs of a really significant, painful, and mutually abusive relationship. Clipping portions to tell a story of how the relationship began, developed, stagnated, turned cruel, and finally ended.
It was the kind of ending where the person somehow simply switches off caring about you, and ghosts you. It's good to accept that sometimes you'll never get closure, and that you'll always just hurt, even if it's less and less.
I was halfway through the text logs and telling the story when a new grief demanded my emotional presence, and the story had to go on the back burner.
Starting on this app has reinvigorated that project, and things like this slot in with how I planned to structure the story.
So, yeah. In case anyone wanted to read more about the context, or take inspiration from it.