how do you say goodbye when your heart still wants to HOLD.ON.

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  • _breathe__ 70w

    So, let the moon be my sky,
    And I will drive to it being a pole star,
    I will hug him from the twinkling directions,
    And he will stare me from the earth so far.

    Lemme hide behind the rainbows,
    I will spray the VIBGYOR to the black and whites,
    Listen, listen, come near and glance here,
    The gleam of shimmering love in nights.

    The thorns in my throat with the Rose's in heart,
    The grace with hope and the cuts in my gut,
    Oh! Oh! That's tough and exasperated,
    But I have the inks and papers in glut.

    The rhythm with violin and harmonica,
    A ditty with no lyrics but felt-words,
    So, will this body fly along the moon sky?
    A pole star and the galaxy of birds?

    This flow of water, and the velocity of his dreams,
    Eh, I will catch him in my sleeps,
    A ballerina of rust and a slow dance of fiction,
    Hey, pinch me, he's there with me in creeps.

    But, this drawings are beautiful enough,
    They crave immortals with the best devastations,
    Blue moon appears everyday along them,
    A couple there creates abomination.

    Stay, stay, stay in my bed and curtains,
    The scintillation of those scars on ceiling,
    You'll find a perfect glory-mess of carnation,
    Drowning drowning and suddenly unfeeling.


  • _breathe__ 70w

    I don't have the courage
    To roll back to you,
    It's not because
    I don't love you anymore,
    But my heart still
    Sinks deep in the quagmire
    Just to see you
    Looking straight into my eyes
    With the passion
    I always wanted you
    To look at me.

    The moon still questions me
    If ever i really did love you?
    But the tears that cease at
    My waterline of eyes
    Make constellations of
    The untold secrets which
    Are deep buried in the grave
    Of my heart.

    I remember i was twelve,
    When you open your arms
    To let me in as if you're
    Sharing my burnt skin
    With the coldness of your heart
    I didn't know that you
    Were diffusing your vain
    Into the my pores.

    Maybe when you left me first,
    I was shattered into the
    Infinite parts between which
    All that was lost somewhere,
    But anyhow i managed to
    Take up those pieces again
    And put them into the
    Cage of hollowness
    And because of that,
    When you came to me,
    My arms didn't wrapped
    Around you with a
    Fear of segregation
    But got twirled around self
    For it knew that
    I can never stop loving you,
    And then i let you go
    As a stranger, i never loved.

    My eyelashes remind me,
    How you used to
    kiss my eyes while
    I was deep asleep
    Because you know
    My night terrors
    Effected my optical nerves,
    How you used to
    Undress my hair
    Because that brown bangs
    Rushed at your cheeks
    As if the safest place ever known.

    I have lost the blackhole
    In me,
    I am an empty galaxy
    That is fine with the
    I don't want asteroids hit
    You hard,
    So better you go now.

    Bye, bye.


  • _breathe__ 70w

    When the night falls,
    And you intentionally
    Increase the volume
    Of the earphones,
    Beyond the limit,
    Because you know
    How much you're
    Willing to slow down
    The rhythm of noises
    That consistently
    Dances on your
    Relay neurons.
    You weep so hard
    Beneath the
    Shiny silver
    scar filled moon,
    For you know that
    How it aches to be
    Imperfect with having
    All the potential of
    Beautiful essence.

    When the dewdrops
    Melt at your eyes
    To burn fire in
    So bold-cold heart,
    And you let the whole
    Oxygen of your body
    To stop that fire
    Because you know
    That feelings will
    Dwell you back in
    The picosin of pain
    For the one that has left
    Already taught you
    That the one who will
    Will leave too.
    Your soul pushes away
    The desire of love,
    Because when winter
    Your bare feet and hands
    Make you realise that
    The autumn of your life
    Has never gone.

    When the darkness
    Creates an emperor
    In your faded brown eyes,
    Your glabella
    Turns into the weapon
    With anger for black
    But not even letting
    The constellations of
    Your intelligence
    To reside in.

    You turned into a wolf,
    Dressed in a cloth,
    But the tenderness in your soul,
    Still seeks the worthy
    For letting your woman side
    To come out.


    @harshad09 @acrystalgirl @whiskeyneat @mauve_

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  • _breathe__ 70w

    I have a curse,
    A curse to feel loved,
    Never to love again,
    So I want a lover,
    I don't have to love.

    I have been served
    Imprecation filled with
    Anxiety and emptiness.
    I will push you away
    But demand to stay
    I won't love him
    He must read me,
    So, I want a reader
    Whom I don't have
    To write anything.

    I will go,
    I can't stay,
    But I want you
    to hold on and
    Dance with me
    On the cracking floor
    Of the station
    On the music that
    Has no sensations
    I want a partner
    I won't have to stay
    With one, everytime.

    I am a bad witch,
    I have flesh that
    Don't really exist
    Specifically on me,
    I have a heart
    That doesn't feels,
    But only pumps blood.
    I want a soul
    That breathes now,
    I can't always breathe.

    Here, kiss me
    When I am withering
    Get me the moon
    If I ask you for it
    Bring stars to my
    Grey room
    I want it to shine
    But listen,
    I am born
    with darkness
    I have it in me
    I won't love

    I want fulfilment
    But I can't stay with it,
    I am hollow inside,
    My bones are a cage,
    I will trap you
    But won't keep
    I am empty,
    I will stay that.

    I want a lover
    I don't have to love.
    I want a feeling
    I don't have to feel


  • _breathe__ 70w

    Slowly I will move
    out of this position,
    Like the amble
    of clock hands
    My breathe will
    countlessly take pace,
    The sun will soften its yellow
    And the clouds will
    extend its boundaries,
    They will hold me
    in their castles
    Bringing the constellations
    in my vessels.

    You will spread
    your arms parabolicaly
    On the graphs of slow music,
    And weave them like
    a wind blowing
    through your lungs,
    I will see you
    kissing the shades
    in dark,
    Mumbling the lyrics
    written on the wall
    by my bed,
    I will sketch
    your dark black eyes
    with the story you
    never dared to share,
    Along with the limbs
    that composed
    a galaxy so bare.

    Grasses are filled with dew,
    Asking me to come
    and sleep with wild wolves,
    So they can see me bleed with pain
    For they miss my eyes of rain.
    They don't know
    I am dead
    Searching for a love
    that drowns in deep ocean,
    Like my shadow
    that goes with me
    When i sleep beneath water.

    The mirror smirks at me,
    Saying you are
    flickering like a flame,
    Says your legs are
    fictionalised with a wax
    That melts with words,
    Urges to look at my back
    That unspecifically draw
    some dark vampires
    Which make you scare by you,
    Asks me to see my bones
    Which crackles like
    Promises in love,
    She says
    I am an essence
    That will suffer
    and bring senescence.


    @acrystalgirl @dusky_dawn @nescient_scarecrow @writersnetwork @lily_love

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    The mirror asks me,
    To see my bones that
    Crackles like
    Promises in love.

  • _breathe__ 86w

    Children are afraid of darkness
    Because reality doesn't knock their feet,
    Where I am startled from myself,
    From the past 16 years,
    Every breathe that went across my alveoli
    Surrenended it's existence when cells tried to drown them.

    When puberty hammered my body,
    I realised it's ugly to be a human,
    It's uglier to be here , it's ugliest to be me,
    It is.
    My giggles sounded like a tempo of Wadaiko,
    Cruel, tough, unpleasant.
    My laughs like manic pencil scratches,
    Sharp, hitting, vulgar.
    My voice trembled like a string of violin,
    Tragic, tereffic, corpsy.
    And the hooks of destiny,
    Pimpled my life with exaggerated sebum.
    Yuk, isn't it?

    I remember Oscar Wilde once said,
    "I need the dead lovers, to listen up laughter"
    I rectify:
    "I need a dead wolf, to listen up laughter"
    Because lovers need to be genuine,
    And ingenuity here is an erased word.

    This now, there's one second,
    Where I am at dilemma
    at edge of recovery or to relapse,
    And a blade between
    my thumb and index finger,
    I wished somebody could
    come to me and hold me along,
    Stop me to commit this,
    and condemn my decision to give up,
    But this didn't occurred.
    I was short, my hands didn't cop
    to wrap my own arms around me.

    My dwarfness wasn't because of
    It's dominance in alleles of inheritance from my parents,
    But because of kaleidoscope of responsibilities
    Dressing on my shoulders which inhibit my GH.

    I lifted the first page of my old diary today,
    Found the a diary entry of my 12th birthday
    With slipped black ink :-
    "My lord, lemme turn strong soon,
    So that I can take my this broken soul
    Against my strong chest and
    stroke back my fingers at head,
    To cry until my eyelashes turn nasty,
    And raw wounds inside my body gets threads"
    I shuddered my hair down,
    My omnipotence disguised as since,
    Still my feet shiver when I move towards peace,
    My tongue scribbles if I talk about love,
    My neural system stops if I get some good vibes.

    A cutthroat world has brought
    Vulgarity with homo sapiens,
    Their spines have been removed so that,
    They can lay at their required positions
    And stab where they want.
    I am a vile here, people mark,
    But I ain't complaining being worthless,
    My scars have a tale to tell,
    Like the contrast of kids and lies.

    [ Three, two, one ...
    And I will get lost within the unprepossessing darkness,
    My ceiling fan will hug me around,
    With a revolting necklace around my thyroid glands,
    And I will write on my forehead,
    /beauty happens to people, I was a terrible thing /. ]


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    Yes, I wasn't beautiful yesterday,
    Nor I have good looks today,
    But I will have a pretty curve
    tomorrow around my neck,
    To condemn the beauty of diamonds.

  • _breathe__ 86w

    I abominate to concede that
    "I ain't congenial with the my survival"
    Because seeing people not to know,
    What needs to be done leaves me impotent,
    So quietude helps but the dire need of
    Cosiness still curls up at the doorstep.

    I cover my body with a thick cloth,
    To assure if the wind doesn't touches it,
    The aroma of rain at night
    does not arrives at my heart in the midnight,
    To warrant that I am just a stranger
    to the fireflies who are the most closest creatures
    I can feel with myself,
    Because it's possible for the world turns good,
    Good in the sense,
    Butterflies can come and stick to our hair,
    Without startling from the consequences,
    The water in seas and oceans can turn clean,
    With a huge bright and placidic aquatica,
    Yes, we can walk barefoot on the roads.

    But, in turn the hades blesses his ray,
    And the Athena inside me cops to give up,
    My anxiety forms a loophole with my blood,
    And the wolf of my tenderness shrinks away,
    Because I have destroyed, betrayed, and
    Suppressed myself from getting love,
    Just because of nothing,
    And the beast of evil, nurtures in my body,
    A mean and a girl with unknown dimensions of hatred,
    For it was all about less pain, not happiness.

    Yet, I sit at the roof after pouring ,
    7 buckets of toxic water at my place,
    Take a diary of torn pages in my hand,
    And gaze the shooting stars,
    Because they're my fate,
    And one day, whole of them are gonna
    Crush my soul and burn those pages,
    One day, the day when I will be the sky,
    And receive the love and attention I wished,
    After wearing a red lip color
    and a fansy dot on my glabella.

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    I was a cynic, but the tenacity of frigidaire accelerated my star.


  • _breathe__ 86w

    Teach me to write the things,
    That scribble between promises and attempts,
    About the wind that blows silently,
    Down our body randomly all at once;
    Something that stays behind,
    Trust issues and hatred,
    Teach me lord, oh my lord.

    My brittle quill with its fragments,
    intone intractable intestatence on whites,
    And a wine with heart wrenching divine,
    Absorbs hollowness of my pen
    Slinging it's hook from my fingers,
    But I need to write, because noone hear here.

    Ohh my omnipotent, teach me
    how these breezes are captured
    That gets exhaled after getting craved in each of our cell,
    Teach me to diminutate skills of shorthand,
    To solemn up the dew drops that fall on my cheeks
    At every zero three hours with a tick tock of soigne.

    Consonants in alphabets of my misery,
    Are quiet sceptical about
    my frittering vowels of moirè of monody,
    The clouds yell at my head,
    Asking me to become a Pollard,
    And my polemical survival
    trashes with the pages of my notebook,
    Notebook with lexicons that has no meaning,
    EXCEPT asking almighty to teach me,
    How ink bleeds when we're dying,
    How the rival gets the throne of existence,
    Teach me lord, how phalanges calligraphate.

    @acrystalgirl @tengoku @tortoise @lily_love @nescient_scarecrow @seyfert @jeelpatel

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    Ohh my omnipotent, teach me
    how these breezes are captured
    That gets exhaled after getting craved in each of our cell,
    Teach me to diminutate skills of shorthand,
    To solemn up the dew drops that fall on my cheeks
    At every zero three hours with a tick tock of soigne.


  • _breathe__ 86w

    I wish if I had supernatural powers,
    Powers to create creatures with tolerance,
    Tolerance of love and peace within themselves,
    For they could resist one's pain with their touch,
    And arm around the tears of one flowing down,
    Glimpsing the grace of moon in one's eye with their,
    And surviving the burnt cosmos like striking-meteors.
    The powers that could make my voice beyond audibility,
    And could stop the sound of cracks appearing in my hypothetical soul,
    I wish if I had that, to shudder
    down the waterfalls from heights
    just to flow in it like a dead fish
    just because going with the flow
    illustrates that your dead body can move,
    Can move from the depths of pocosin,
    And the bonfire of a mythological grim reaper,
    Which is known to be lie(fe).

    I dreamt about extramundane things,
    Forming a blizzard within me for,
    Having all the stars on my blue except the one,
    That would make my sky twinkle,
    I nurtured a six-cornered wierd triangle,
    With luciferin of a demised firefly,
    But it soon transformed in shooting one,
    And strucked my eyes like a scalpel oval out my optics,
    That took me to cut out the tyre,
    Which incraved the wordings,
    "Dreams like wishes come true,
    To embrace your existence like
    A betrayal did to your heart".
    That wasn't true, that was disloyal,
    But the homo sapiens here made it a fact,
    With all their occult.
    So, I wished I had some powers out of the world.

    I would have coloured my room with abstracts,
    Abstracts of the desires that graved in my psyche,
    Write the invisible scratches on my face,
    With some broken stitches and running blood,
    Which doesn't come under the sights of almighty,
    I would have uncovered the ceiling and
    And gazed the blackhole gravitating my light of hope.
    I must have taken my feet to the land,
    Where the scars become beauty,
    Open arteries give blood to the stems of peace,
    And fractured lungs still breathe with
    Quid pro quo of all my commitments to stay alive,
    I would have stayed there,
    If I had those powers with which
    the thantos take away the spirits from the living'.

    @dusky_dawn @tengoku @acrystalgirl @nescient_scarecrow @seyfert @abhigyan_ @lily_love @thewordplayer @tortoise

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    I must have taken my feet to the land,
    Where the scars become beauty,
    Open arteries give blood to the stems of peace,
    And fractured lungs still breathe with
    Quid pro quo of all my commitments to stay alive,
    I would have stayed there,
    If I had those powers with which
    the thantos take away the spirits from the living'.

  • _breathe__ 87w

    ...And almost then, when you left me with the isolation of love,
    The peach colour of my cheeks turned red with the dilemma either to stop you from betraying me again or let you go ahead, ahead in the apartment where you are gonna get that;
    But I preferred to smile, like always,
    A dirty smirk, yea the one you get annoyed of everytime, for I knew I would smash you with my philanthropic feelings which are quite ugly to your pretty-tender face and Luke warm to your denounced soul just thinking about if ever we met, or we spoke after years though, what will be our conversation?
    Silence or take no notice of our existence.
    Well, I can't lie because my earlier ones were enough,
    I will ask you about the time you spent without me, the moment when my air hugs visited you but your cold shoulder turned around just to get consoled by my bitter kisses on your palms,
    I will cry and take your tears out, to gladden my seclusion in my claustrophobic room filled with your touch, your presence, your aroma, your sweet deceptions, I will ask you about the calculations of my broken bangles in returned gift and wait, there are infinite things I've kept in my throat about the infinitely small piece of fiction-about our love.
    Still, when I randomly see your blank display pictures with no status-abouts shown, the name saved my moon looses it's moonlight but though, If i try to check out your new-catharsitic eyes in these freaking hell social medias, my beats go mad like a broken meteor.
    Oh damn shit! See, I can't change, likeways even today I am on roll to speak. Is there anything you have there in your heart? Oops, sorry see again I forget there wasn't anything for me there,
    Your eyes deceived me or my heart got so.
    The denigration I got with the fantasy I live with your intimacy actually brought me as an omniscient of worldly wisdom in reality
    In just a pity short age and I am grateful to that but wonder about your countless gifts of dysthymia....

    /a letter that was saved as a diary entry/



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    "Were that your eyes that deceived or was it my heart that got so? "